Tuesday 31 July 2012

Monday 30 July 2012

LATEST........BANGER HOLIDAY COULD BE RELEASED AS A SINGLE??????

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YES BUNTY SAYS HER HORSES DESERVE THE BEST SO NOW INSTEAD OF THE STABLES THEY WILL HAVE THEIR OWN BEDROOM WITH THEIR OWN BEDS TOO. THEY ARE HOOD BOYS BUT THEY ARE AT THAT SGE WHERE NEED MORE SPACE AND PRIVACY......DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING.......BUNTY SAYS HORSES TO GET AN UPGRADE, BEDROOM OF THEIR OWN!!!!!!

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WE HEAR THAT A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE BETWEEN WHITE VAN MAN AND ANDY LAST NIGHT. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THE TWO OF THEM HAVE ARRANGED TO MEET UP IN A LOCAL PUB TO DISCUSS A REVENGE PLAN ON LARRY.WE HEAR THEY BOTH TALKING TO EACH OTHER LIKE OLD FRIENDS AND ON FIRST NAMES TERMS TOO, ANDY NOW CALLS WHITE VAN MAN WICKY.....DEAR O DEAR

Thursday 26 July 2012

BREAKING................ANDY CLAIMS HE HAS MORE MEDALS THAN ANY OTHER OLYMPIC TEAM...........DEAR O DEAR

LARRY SENDS US PICS OF BOTH VEHICLES AS PROOF HE HAS THEM AND THEY ARE BOTH IN A BAD STATE..........

ANDYS MOGGY MINOR.............
AND WHITE VAN MANS VAN............
WELL, THIS IS A WORRYING DEVELOPMENT................

LATEST.................BUNTY SAYS SHE WILL BE TAKING PART IN THE OPENING CEREMONY OF THE OLYMPICS.....................

LATEST........ANDY SAYS HE WILL GET A VIGILANTE AGAINST LARRY...BUNTY & BETTY...............DEAR O DEAR.

LATEST.............BOTH ANDY & WHITE VAN MAN REACT WITH ANGER..................

BREAKING.................LARRY CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR HAVING WHITE VANS MAN & ANDYS MOGGY MINOR................

LARRY PHONED SAT SUPREME TODAY AND SAID HES HAS BOTH VEHICLES, ITS NOT CLEAR WHEN HE TOOK THEM AND WHERE THEY ARE, BUT SOUNDED VICTORIOUS.............

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WE HEAR THAT LARRY IS BACK IN THE UK AND WE ALSO HEAR THAT HE MAY KNOW OF THE WHERE ABOUTS OF ANDYS MOGGY MINOR AND WHITE VAN MANS VAN ....THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY.....

BREAKING.......LARRYS BACK........

Wednesday 25 July 2012

BREAKING........VERA SEEN BLOWING KISSES TO CHAS WITNESSES REPORT.......

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YES ANDY WOULD YOU BELIEVE THINKS THAT THE OLYMPIC DRIVING LANES ARE FOR HIM FOR WHEN HE & BETTY VISIT THE EVENT , HE ALSO PHONED THE TRANSPORT FOR LONDON TO THANK THEM, HOW ARROGANT YOU ARE ANDY.....DEAR O DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING.........ANDY THINKS THE OLYMPIC LANES ARE FOR HIM???????

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HES LATEST VENTURE NOW SEEMS TO BE SECURITY. APPARANTLEY HE SAYS WITH HIS TRAINED SECURITY TEAM ANY COMPANY CAN BE ASSURED OF TOP LEVEL SECURITY WITH BANGER SECURITY. HE HAS PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED GAURDS MAINLY BETTY AND BASIL WHO WILL ATTACK IF THREATENED.IF YOUR COMPANY NEEDS PROTECTING AND YOU WANT PEACE OF MIND THEN CALL BANGER SECURITY TODAY.......

Tuesday 24 July 2012

BREAKING................BANGER SECURITY??????

LATEST................BUNTY TO LAUNCH A NEW GAME TO FIND HER CIGARS

YES BUNTY IS TO LAUNCH A NEW GAME INSPIRED BY HER CIGARS DISSAPEARING, ITS TO BE CALLED,ON THE CIGAR TRAIL. THE IDEA IS THAT SOMEONE HIDES A PACK OF KINGSIZE CIGARS AND THEN EVERYONE HAS TO FIND THEM, AND THEY GET TO KEEP THE PACK IF THEY FIND THEM SURPRISE SURPRISE....VERY ORIGINAL BUNTY ...........DEAR O DEAR

BANGERS BUS.............

HERE IS BANGERS HOLDAY BUS IN WHICH HE HOPES TO DO HIS HOLIDAY TOURS WHEN HE MAKES HIS COVER OF THE SONG SUMMER HOLIDAY TO BECOME BANGER HOLIDAY.............

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YES APPARANTLEY ANDY SEEMS TO THINK THAT THE CLASSIC SONG SUMMER HOLIDAY SHOULD BE REVIVED AND RE COVERED BY HIM & BUNTY AND CALLED BANGER HOLIDAY....WE HOPE TO HAVE A RECORDING OF THIS ON SATURDAYS SHOW....WE ALSO HEAR HE WILL BE PUTTING THE NAME ON HIS BANGER BUS SO ALL CAN SEE WHEN GOING ON HIS BUS TOURS???????

BREAKING.......ANDY WANTS TO DO A COVER OF SUMMER HOLIDAY , RENAMING IT BANGER HOLIDAY??????

Thursday 19 July 2012

LATEST..............WHITE VAN MAN SENDS US A PIC OF ANDYS MOGGY MINOR. HAS HE GONE TOO FAR???.......HAS HIS DREAM CAR REACHED THE END OF THE ROAD???.....DEAR O DEAR ANDY

SPECIAL REPORT...........BUNTYS HORSES STOLEN.

GETTING UNCONFIRMED REPORTS FROM STEVEN HALL FROM SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW & ANDY HOUR THAT BUNTYS HORSES HAVE BEEN STOLEN SHE BELIEVES BY WHITE VAN MAN BOTH HAMLET AND CONDOR SHE SAYS ARE MISSING AND SHES WORRIED SICK....IF THISN IS TRUE THIS FUED HAS TAKEN A DANGEROUS TURN................THANKS STEVE

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BUNTY PATROL COULD SOON BE ON OUR STREETS IF BUNTY GETS HER WAY....YES SHE WANTS TO RECRUIT CIGAR SMOKING WOMEN, TO WARD OF YOUNG TROUBLE MAKERS AND PATROL OUR STREETS TO MAKE OUR THEM SAFER.....SOMEHOW BUNTY THINKS THAT BY SMOKING CIGARS AND BEING A WOMAN WILL LOOK INTIMIDATING TO YOUNG HOOLIGANS................ TRAINING IS UNDERWAY....DEAR DEAR

BREAKING................BUNTY PATROL ON OUR STREETS??????????????

BREAKING...............WHITE VAN MAN HAS SAID HE KNOWS WHERE ANDY MOGGY MINOR IS AND HAS SENT IN A PIC TO US ..............DETAILS LATER

LATEST.....................BUNTY SAYS............TAKE THE STRESS OUT OF A LONG DAY & HAVE A CIGAR

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WHITE VAN MAN HAD TOLD ANDY THAT HE WILL PAY FOR TAKING HIS VAN. IM ON TO THAT BANGER HE SAID, HE OWES ME A VAN, THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF LOST BUSINESS, AND TOOLS. APPARANTLEY HE CALLED ROUND TO THE BANGER RESIDENCE BUT BETTY SAID HE WAS NOT AVAILABLE AND THAT WHITE VAN MAN NEEDED TO MAKE AN APPT......DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING........WHITE VAN MAN SAYS ANDY WILL PAY..........

Wednesday 18 July 2012

BREAKING..........BUNTY OPENS EXCLUSIVE CIGAR CLUB.........

BUNTYS CIGAR CLUB OPENED TODAY AND SHE HAD A SPECIAL INCENTIVE TO THE FIRST 20 NEW MEMBERS. YES A FREE PACK OF KING SIZE CIGARS ON THE DOOR.APPARANTLEY THE FIRST DAY WENT WELL ALTHOUGH NOBODY COULD GET TO TALK TO EACH OTHER PROPERLY AS THERE WAS TOO MYCH SMOKE IN THE HALL......DEAR O DEAR

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ANDY HAS HIT BACK AT ALLEGATIONS FROM WHITE VAN MAN FOLLOWING THE DISSAPEARANCE OF HIS VAN. ANDY SAID I DO NOT HAVE HIS VAN I'M TOO BUSY LOOKING FOR MY MOGGY MINOR.......DEAR O DEAR

Tuesday 17 July 2012

LATEST..........ANDY DENIES RUMOURS OF TAKING WHITE VAN MANS VAN........

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EVENTS HAVE TAKEN A DRAMATIC TURN WITH NOW WHITE VAN MANS VAN GOING MISSING AND BANGER IS THE NUMBER ONE SUSPECT. ALL DAY LONG WHITE VAN MAN HAS BEEN PHONING AROUND TRYING TK FIND HIS VAN BUT NO LUCK.HE PHONED VERULAM AND SAID THAT ALL HIS TOOLS WERE IN HIS VAN AND WHEN HE FINDS BANGER HE WILL HAVE A WRENCH AROUND HIS NECK. NO CONFIRMATION FROM ANDY AS YET WHETHER HE HAS THE VAN OR NOT.......

BREAKING..........NOW WHITE VAN MANS VAN HAS GONE MISSING........

Thursday 12 July 2012

LATEST..............HAVE YOU SEEN ANDYS MISSING MOGGY MINOR???????????????

BREAKING............ANDY MAKING CITIZENS ARRESTS?????

GETTING REPORTS ANDY IS GOING AROUND MAKING CITIZEN ARRESTS ON MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC WHO HE THINKS HAS HIS MOGGY MINOR....WE HEAR HE HAS BEEN APPROACHING PEOPLESAYING GAMES UP GIVE ME BACK MY MOGGY MINOR OR ILL MAKE A CITIZENS ARREST............ANDY HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND AS WELL AS YOUR BANGER??????

DEVELOPING....................BUNTY PHONES MAYOR OF LONDON................

BUNTY WE HEAR PHONED BORIS JOHNSON, MAYOR OF LONDON TODAY AS AND SAID SHE WANTED TO BE IN THE OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONY. SHE SAID SHE WANTED HER THREE HORSES TO PARADE AROUND THE STADIUM SMOKING CIGARS AND AT THE SAME TIME DOING SOME AMAZING ACTS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. THE MAYOR OF LONGON HUNG UP ON HER CALLING IT OBSURD.........

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EARLIER WE TOLD YOU THAT ANDY HAD REPORTED HIS MISSING MOGGY MINOR TO THE POLICE, WELL WE HEAR THAT AFTER WALKING IN TO THE LOCAL POLICE STATION AND GIVING A STATEMENT THE POLICE COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY WERE HEARING AND EVEN SAID PERHAPS YOUR VEHICLE MR BANGER IS BETTER OFF MISSING, AS THEY COULD NOT BELIEVE IT WAS ROAD WORTHY, ONE OFFICER COULDNT STOP LAUGHNG AND ANOTHER THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A WIND UP. ANDY THEN STORMED OUT SAYING HOW VERY DARE YOU AND SAID ILL FIND IT MYSELF............DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING..........ANDY REPORTS HIS MISSING MOGGY MINOR TO THE POLICE........

Tuesday 10 July 2012

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YES BUNTY PHONED THE PRIME MINISTER TODAY TO PUT FORWARD THE IDEA THAT SHE WOULD LIKE TO BE THE BRITISH AMBASSADOR FOR CIGARS, BUT WE UNDERSTAND THAT THE PRIME MINISTER REJECTED THE PROPOSAL SAYING THAT SMOKING WAS NOW CONSIDERED ANT SOCIAL AND DAMAGING TO HEALTH AN WAS ALARMED THAT BUNTY WAS ENCOURAGING CIGAR SMOKING. THEN AN EXCHANGE TOOK PLACE AND THE CONVERSATION ENDED WITH BUNTY BLOWING IN TO THE PHONE AFER INHALING ON HER CIGAR.......DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING.......BUNTY APPROACHES GOVERNMENT TO BECOME AMBASSADOR OF CIGARS.......

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ANDYS MOGGY MINOR IS STILL NOWHERE TO BE FOUND HE SAID HE RELIES ON HIS CAR GO TO THE SHOPS JYST AROUND THE CORNER AND TO TAKE BETTY IP THE ROAD.......DEAR O DEAR

Monday 9 July 2012

LATEST........ANDYS MOGGY MINOR STILL MISSING.....

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WE HEAR THAT ANDY BANGER GOT IN TO A ROW YESTERDAY OUTSIDE WIMBLEDON TENNIS COURTS SELLING OUT OF DATE STRAWBERRIES AT VERY CHEAP PRICES. AT FIRST ANDY WAS SELLING THE STRAWBERRIES AT A PLENTIFUL RATE BUT WE HEAR WAS ALSO SELLING THEM IN A BUCKET.THEN JUST AS THE WIMBLEDON FINAL WAS ABOUT TO START A HUGE NUMBER OF SPECTATORS MADE A RUSH FOR THE TOILETS COMPLAINING OF NOT FEELING WELL AND HAD TO GO HO E. ANDY HAD A LOT OF ABUSE SHOUTED AT HIM HE ALSO GOT IN TO TROUBLE WIRH OFFICALS SAYING HE WAS TO BLAME FOR A RECORD LOW TURNOUT . BUT ONE ELDERLY WOMAN WAS GRATEFUL TO ANDY EHO SAID THE STRAWBERRIES HAD MADE HER GO GOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS AND ASKED ANDY FOR SOME MORE........DEAR O DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING.........ANDY IN WIMBLEDON ROW OVER STRAWBERRIES.........

Thursday 5 July 2012

BREAKING..............ANDY PANICS

ANDY HAS PHONED BARNWELL THIS EVENING IN A REAL STATE SAYING THAT WHITE VAN MAN HAD CHASED HIM IN HIS MOGGY MINOR AND TRIED TO RUN HIM OFF THE ROAD...WE HEAR ANDY WAS CLEARLY SHAKEN AND TOOK AGES TO CALM DOWN.......THING IS WE QUESTION WHETHER ANDY WAS CHASED BY WHITE VAN MAN BECAUSE HIS MOGGY MINOR HARDLY MOVES SO THERE WOULD NOT BE MUCH OF A CHASE......IS THIS ANOTHER OF ANDYS TALL TALES???????

BREAKING................VERA WARNED ............

TONIGHT AS CHAS RETURNED TO WORK VERA WAS SEEN TRYING TO ENYICE CHAS AWAY FROM THE STATION AS HE RETURNED TO HIS DUTIES...WE CAN TELL YOU THAT VERA WAS IMMEDIATELY CALLED IN BY THE STATION MANAGEMENT AND WARNED THAT SHE WILL BE SUSPENDE HERSELF IF SHE CONTINUES, BUT VERA RESPONDED SAYING SHE NEEDE TO CARRY HER HOOVER FOR HER.....LONG WAY BACK TO YORKSHIRE VERA?

BREAKING......BUNTYS FIRST COUNSELLING SESSION A SUCCESS

BUNTY SAYS HER FIRST SESSION TO CONVERT SOMEONE TO CIGAR SMOKING HAS BEEN A SUCCESS. A 98 YEAR OLD ELDERLY LADY SAYS SHE HAS NEVER SMOKED A CIGARETTE BEFORE IN HER LIFE AND IS NOW HOOKED ON CIGARS, ALTHOUGH A CONSTANT COUGH TOO...BUNTY BELIEVES ONE DAY EVERYONE WILL BE CIGAR SMOKERS.....WITH HER HELP OF COURSE

Wednesday 4 July 2012

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WE HEAR ANDY HAS OPENED UP A GALLERY TO THE PUBLIC IN HIS VERY OWN BANGER RESIDENCE. APPARANTLEY ALL THE PORTRAITS ARE OF HIM & BETTY FROM THE WAR DAYS TO THE PRESENT. AS MEMEBERS OF THE PUBLIC WALK IN TO HIS HOUSE FOR A FEE OF £600 THEY WILL SEE IN THE HALLWAY PORTRAITS OF ANDY GROWING UP TOO.....WE DIDNT THINK HE HAD GROWN UP ANYWAY....WE ALSO HEAR DESPITE PUBLICITY THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN VERY POOR..........

BREAKING...................ANDY OPENS GALLERY IN THE BANGER RESIDENCE????

LATEST......................

ANDY CLAIMS HIS MOOGY MINOR CAN GO SO FAST SO WHY WAS IT OVERTAKEN BY A MILK FLOAT?...........

Tuesday 3 July 2012

UPDATE.........

CHAS HAS MET WE HEAR WITH THE STATION MANAGEMENT TODAY AND HAS BEEN ALLOWED TO RETURN TO VERULAM ON CONDITION HE STAYS AWAY FROM VERA. WE HEAR HE HAS TOLD THE BOSSES AT VERULAM THAT HE NEVER DISSAPEARED WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT WE KNOW DIFFERENT CHAS, AS WITNESSES CAN TELL........

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SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER WHOPPER ANDYS TELLING CELEBRATING 100 YEARS OF SHOWBIZ. NO 1 HE'S NOT IN SHOWBIZ. AND NUMBER 2 HES NOT 100 EITHER. WELL HE DOES LOOK 100 YEARS OLD. HE BELIEVES THAT HE'S WORLD FAMOUS AND A SIR TOO, MAYBE IN HIS HOUSE BUT NOWHERE ELSE......

BREAKING.........ANDY CELEBRATING 100 YEARS I'N SHOWBIZ????????

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YES BUNTY IS TO GO IN TO COUNSELLING BUT WITH A DIFFERENCE, APPARANTLEY SHE WANTS TO GIVE PEOPLE COUNSELLING TO CONVERT THEM TO CIGAR SMOKING. HER AIM IS TO MAKE PEOPLE SMOKE CIGARS AND TO HELP THEM OVERCOME THE PROBLEM OF NOT BEING ABLE TOO OR NOT WANTING TOO......DEAR O DEAR

Monday 2 July 2012

BREAKING..........BUNTY TO GO IN TO COUNSELLING .........DETAILS SOON

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READY TO PLAY BANGER BINGO, YES ONCE CONSIDERED TO BE A FAVOURITE PASTIME FOR PEOPLE LOOKS LIKE TURNING IN TO A BIT OF A HEADACHE FOR THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO PLAY BANGER BINGO.WE HEAR BOTH BUNTY ANDY ARE TO START UP THEIR OWN BINGO BUSINESS AND TAKE TURNS BEING A BINGO CALLER, ANDY SAID EYES DOWN FOR THE TWO FAT LADYS.....HOW RUDE WE THINK HE MEANT 88.......

LATEST.........BANGER BINGO.....EYES DOWN.....ANDY TO BE A BINGO CALLER???????