Thursday 28 June 2012
BREAKING..............ANDY NOT TOO WELL
WE ARE HEARING TONIGHT ANDY IS NOT FEELING TOO WELL AND LAID UP IN BED WITH MAN FLU HE SAYS...APPARANLEY NURSE BETTY IS ON 24 HR CALL AS DAY & NIGHT NURSE.........DEAR O DEAR
LATEST.......ANDY CAUSES TRAFFIC CHAOS
ANDY THE LOLLIPOP MAN WHO STARTED HIS JOB TODAY HAS CAUSED COMPLETE ROAD CHAOS FOR DRIVERS, PEDESTRIANS AND OTHERS TOO EVEN CHILDREN WERE LATE FOR SCHOOL.REPORTS OF A 30 MILE TRAFFIC JAM WHILST HE ALLOWED PEDESTRIANS TO USE THE CROSSINGS. HE ALSO MADE PEOPLE QUEUE AT THE CROSSINGS AND ON HIS LOLLIPOP SIGN HE HELD UP TO TRAFFIC IT SAID ...STOP BANGER...DEAR O DEAR EVENTUALLY POLICE WERE CSLLED TO HELP EASE THE JAMS...... ALSO CHILDREN WERE SCARED OF SEEING A LOLLIPOP MAN WITH A PIPE........
Wednesday 27 June 2012
MORE.........
YES YOU HEARD RIGHT ANDY THE LOLLIPOP MAN, HE NOW CLAIMS THE HIGHWAY AGENCY HAVE APPROACHED HIM TO PATROL AND CONTROL TRAFFIC OUTSIDE SCHOOLS TO HELP THE MORNING RUSH AND REDUCE CONJESTION AND ROAD PROBLEMS.AND HE SAYS HE STARTS TOMORROW.....DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday 26 June 2012
UPDATE..........
CHAS THE SAT SUPREME CARETAKER HAS REPORTEDLY TOLD THE RADIO VERULAM MANAGEMENT TONIGHT THAT HE WAS NOT WITH VERA DURING HIS ABSENCE AND THAT HE WAS AWAY FOR PERSONAL REASONS. WHEN ASKED WHY WAS HE SEEN WITH VERA HE SAID I WAS JUST CARRYING HER HOOVER FOR HER......DEAR O DEAR
Monday 25 June 2012
UPDATE........
WE ARE GETTING DISTURBING REPORTS THAT ANDY BANGER HAS BEEN SELLING FAULTY BARBECUES, DO NOT BUY THESE BARBECUES AS THEY ARE DANGEROUS. ALREADY WE HEAR THEY HAVE RUINED SOME FAMILY BARBECUES WITH ONE CASE OF THE BABECUE ITSELF EXPLODING AND OTHERS CATCHING FIRE TO NEIGHBOURS FENCES.AS USUAL BANGER DENIES SELLING THEM.......
MORE.........
LOOKS LIKE ANDY FANCIES HIMSELF AS A BARRISTER, AND HE'S TOLD LAW BREAKERS TO BEWARE WITH TOUGH SENTENCES TO BE IMPOSED. HE SAYS MINOR CRIMES COULD SEE CRIMINALS ATTENDING REGULAR COURSES WITH BUNTY AND THIS INCLUDES CIGAR SHARING WITH THE HORSES.WHERE AS MORE SERIOUS CRIMES BEING SERVED WITH SENTENCES SUCH AS LISTENING TO BANGER INTERNATIONAL FOR 3 YEARS MINIMUM . SO RUMPOLE OF THE BAILEY OR SHOULD WE SAY BANGER OF THE BAILEY IF HE GETS HIS WAY WILL PUT CRIME TO REST HE SAYS......DEAR O DEAR
Thursday 21 June 2012
BREAKING...............ANDY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PROPOSED STRIKES........
YES ANDY HAS SAID THAT AFTER THE DOCTORS WENT ON STRIKE AND FIREMEN TOO, ANDY SAYS HE HAS AN ALTERNATIVE FIRE SERVICE ON STANDBY , OH DEAR , AND HE WILL ALSO BE PROVIDING AN EMERGENCE DOCTORS SEVICE, REALLY WELL ANDY THE DOCTOR WITH A PHD WILL SEE YOU NOW EVERYONE..............GOOD LUCK IF YOU CAN HOLD WE RECOMMEND YOU DO TILL THE STRIKE ENDS..............
LATEST......................A BANGER SUMMER SULSTICE
WE HEAR THAT BOTH ANDY AND BUNTY WERE UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN THIS MID SUMMERS MORNING TO USHER IN THE SUMMER SOLSTICE BOTH WERE MEDITATING AROUND ANDYS POLE IN HID FIELD, CHANTING, OF COURSE ANDY ON HIS PIPE AND BUNTY WITH A HUGE CIGAR......WE HERE BETTY MEANWHILE WAS SOUND ASLEEP IN BE SENSIBLY.......
LATEST................ANDY APPLIES TO COUNCIL FOR MOGGY MINOR MUSUEM...........
WE HEAR THAT ANDY HAS CONTACT ST ALBANS COUNCIL SAYING HE WOULD LIKE A MUSUEM FOR MOGGY MINORS SAYING THE PROJECT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE, OF COURSE THE APPLICATION WAS REJECTED, AND UPON HEARING THIS HE DEMANDED TO HAVE A CHOIR AT THE ST ALBANS FESTIVAL.....AGAIN THERE IS NO CHANCE...THANKS TO STEVE HALL FOR UPDATE.....
BREAKING................CHAS SUSPENDED
WE HAVE JUST HEARD THAT CHAS THE CARETAKER HAS BEEN SUSPENDED FROM VERULAM DUE TO HIS LONG UNEXPLAINED ABSENT LEAVE FROM THE STATION......UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
LATEST...............STEVE HALL SEES CHAS & VERA IN RESTAURANT....
WELL, WITH CHAS HAVING RETURNED TO VERULAM TODAY AFTER BEING ABSENT FOR A WEEK, WE HEAR THAT STEVEN HALL FROM THE SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW & ANDY HOUR SAYS HE SAW THEM BOTH IN A RESTUARANT AS HE WAS PASSING. HE SAID CHAS LOOKED UP AT STEVE BUT QUICKLY LOOKED AWAY WHEN HE RECOGNISED STEVE....WE HEAR CHAS HAS BEEN AIN A MEETING WITH STATION MANAGEMENT TODAT BUT NO SIGN OF VERA................
Wednesday 20 June 2012
MORE.......
WITH THE FALKLAND ISLANDS MAKING THE NEWS AGAIN ANDY SEEMS TO THINK HE HAS SOVERIENGTY OVER BANGER ISLAND.HAS ANYBODY EVEN HEARD OF THIS ISLAND , WE WOULD AT LEAST LIKE TO KNOW WHERE IT IS BEFORE YOU CLAIM TO OWN IT ANDY.....DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday 19 June 2012
MORE..........
YES YOU HEARD RIGHT. PREPARE FOR THE BANGER CIRCUS TO COME TO YOUR TOWN, WITH ANDY THE ORIGINAL CLOWN JUGGLING SAUSAGES AND A PIPE ACT TOO YOU WONT FORGET THERE'S ALSO BUNTY DOING HER AMAZING HORSE ACT WITH CIGARS AND PERHAPS THE MOST AMAXING IS BETTY DOING A FIRE EATING STUNT.ANDY TOLD SAT SUPREME IT'S A NEW VENTURE FOR US BUT THE BANGER CIRCUS WILL AMAZE YOU, WE ALSO HEAR THAT BASIL WILL BE THROWING FLOUR BOMBS IN TO THE AUDIENCE......DEAR O DEAD
Monday 18 June 2012
LATEST..........ANDY IN QUEENS HONOURS LIST GIVEN A P I B ?
YES ANDY CLAIMS THAT HE IS VERY EXCITED TO LEARN THAT HE HAS BEEN GIVEN S TITLE IN THE ROYAL HONOURS LIST, UNFORTUNATELY IT'S NOT AN OBE THOUGH IT'S SOMETHING ELSE WHICH ANDY DOSENT REALISE.......MORE DETAILS ON THIS COMING SATURDAYS SHOW.......
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ADVANTAGE ANDY WHAT COULD THAT MEAN? WELL APPARANTLEY ANDY SAYS HE HAS BEEN APPROACHED BY WIMBLEDON OFFICALS ASKING HIM TO BE A TENNIS UMPIRE. UBELIVEABLE AS IT IS ANDY SAYS HE HAS THE EXPERIENCE AND ADVANTAGE OVER ANYBODY AND CLAIMS HE WAS ONCE A BALL BOY IN THE FRED PERRY CHAMPIONSHIPS ..REALLY ANDY BIT OF A TALL STORY AND WHEN WE TOLD HIM HE REPLIED NEW BALLS PLEASE.....DEAR O DEAR
Friday 15 June 2012
BREAKING..............MORE COMPLAINTS EMERGE ABOUT BANGERS UMBRELLAS
TODAY MORE COMPLAINTS HAVE CAME IN TO SAT SUPREME REGARDING BANGERS UMBRELLAS WHICH HE HAS BEEN SELLING, ONE ELDERLY LADY HAS SENT US A PHOTO BELOW WHICH SHOWS THAT THE UMBRELLA SHE WENT TO PUT UP IN A DOWNPOUR BUT IT COLLAPSED ON TO HER HEAD...........ONCE AGAIN DO NOT BUY THESE UMBRELLAS THE ARE DANGEROUS.............
DEVELOPING..........VERA & CHAS STILL NOT SEEN......
AFTER SAT SUPREME REPORTED SEEING CHAS & VERA ENTER A LOCAL CINEMA TOGETHER THE OTHER NIGHT, WITNESSES SAY THEY DID NOT SEE THEM LEAVE AND BELIEVE THEY LEFT THROUGH THE BACK DOOR TO AVOID BEING SEEN......CHAS HAS NOT RETURNED TO WORK AT THE RADIO STATION SINCE.........
Thursday 14 June 2012
BREAKING................ANDY COOKING WITH SAUSAGES
WE HEAR THAT ANDY HAS STARTED UP COOKERY LESSSONS FOR THOSE INTERESTED IN COOKING SAUSAGES. EVERYONE DESERVES THE TRUE TASTE OF A BANGER HE SAID, AND WITH MY RECIPES YOU TOO CAN BECOME A SAUSAGE CONNUISER...ANDY IS LAUNCHING THE NEW SERVICE SOON.......
Wednesday 13 June 2012
BREAKING.......................VERA & CHAS SEEN TOGETHER IN CINEMA
GETTING REPORTS THAT WITNESSES HAVE SEEN CHAS & VERA HOLDING HANDS WALKING IN TO A LOCAL CINEMA TOGETHER, THESE REPORTS UNCONFIRMED BUT APPARANTLEY WITNESSED BY MANY............
BREAKING...............BARNWELL RECIEVES CALLS FROM A WORRIED ANDY
BARNWELL HAS SAID THAT HE RECIEVED CALLS TODAY FROM A TERRIFIED ANDY SAYING THAT HE HEARD THAT WHITE VAN MAN WAS ON HIS WAY ROUND TO THE BANGER RESIDENCE, AND ASKED HIM TO PICK HIM UP TO SAY AT HIS PALCE FOR THE NIGHT.....STEVEN HALL FROM THE ANDY HOUR SAID HE TOO HAS RECIEVED CALLS AND ALSO TO SY THAT BANGERS MOGGY MINOR WAS ON TV THIS WEEK....THANKS STEVE
MORE.................
ONCE AGAIN BANGER PREYS ON THE VULNERABLE....ANDY BANGER HAS STARTED SELLING UMBRELLAS WITH THE BANGER BRAND NAME ON THEM, WE DONT KNOW HOW HE MAD THEM AND WHERE THEIR FROM, BUT WE BELIEVE HES CASHING IN ON THE BAD WEATHER....HOWEVER ALREADY SAT SUPREME HAS RECIEVED COMPLAINTS, ONE LADY SAID THAT WHEN IT RAINED SHE PUT UP THE UMBRELLA AND IT MADE A LOUD BANG AND TURNED INSIDE OUT, ANOTHER SAID WHEN SHE WAS USING IT ALL THE RAIN JUST P0URED THROUGH, AND YET ANOTHER SAID HERS WOULDNT EVEN OPEN.................DO NOT BUY THESE BANGER UMBRELLAS IF YOU WANT TO STAY DRY..............
Tuesday 12 June 2012
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WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT ANDY CLAIMS THAT UEFA HAVE APPROACHED HIM FO FLY OUT TO POLAND TO BE SUBSTITUTE TO PLAY FOR ENGLAND...PLEASE DO US A FAVOUR ANDY THERE'S BO WAY WE WOULD NEED YOU, WE AT LEAST LIKE TO STAND A CHANCE. ANDY SAYS HE USED TO BE A WORLD CLASS FOOTBALLER WHEN HE WAS AT UNIVERSITY......
Monday 11 June 2012
Friday 8 June 2012
MORE................
BUNTY SAYS SHE HAS BEEN APPRIACHED BY A TV NETWORK TO MAKE CIGAR COMMERCIALS, ITS NOT CLEAR WHEN THESE WILL BE MADE OR GO TO AIR BUT AFTER TAING ANOTHER PUFF SHE SAID ILL BE READY WHEN IVE FINISHED MEDITATING...........DEAR O DEAR...AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE BANGER SAYS HES BEEN APPROACHED TO AMKE PIPE COMMERCIALS WHAT A SURPRISE HE CANT BE LEFT OUT................
Thursday 7 June 2012
BREAKING......................VERA THE CLEANER SLAMS SAT SUPREME FOR ACCUSATIONS ABOUT HER & CHAS!
TONIGHT VERA THE NEW SAT SUPREME /STATION CLEANER HAS ACCUSED SAT SUPREME OF MAKING ACCUSATIONS THAT SHE SAYS ARE UNFOUNDED, THIS COMES AMID CONTINUING SPECULATION ABOUT THE STRANGE ENCOUNTERS BETWEEN HER AND CHAS THE CARETAKER OF WHOM SHE DENIES ANY INVOLVEMENT WITH............
BREAKING................
BUNTY CLAIMS SHE HAS BEEN LEARNING TO MEDITATE WITH CIAGRS WITH OTHER PRESENTERS AT THE STATION, WELL WHATEVER NEXT, ALSO WE HEAR THAT THE HORSES ARE SMOKING MORE THAN EVER.............
LATEST............SPECIAL REPORT
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT ANDY CALLED BARNWELL TODAY TO SAY THE REASON HE DIDNT COME TO THE HERTS ROADSHOW LAST WEEK WAS BECAUSE HE WAS AWAY AT A STEAM FAIR, WELL FIRST WE HEAR THAT THE BANGERS WERE GOING TO BENIDORM AND NOW THIS, WHATS GOING ON, WE ALSO HEAR THAT ANDY BUMPED IN TO WHITE VAN MAN BY ACCIDENT ACN YOU BELIEVE, HIS WHEREABOUTS AT THE WEEKEND REMAIN A MYSTERY THEN, AND THANKS TO STEVE HALL FROM THE ANDY HOUR AND SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW FOR THE LATEST UPDATE...............
Wednesday 6 June 2012
MORE............................
WELL, AFTER THE ORIGINAL JUBILEE CELEBRATIONS WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT THE BANGERS HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING THEIR OWN STILL TODAY, AND THIS EVENING A SPECIAL BANNQUET WAS HELD AT THE BANGER RESIDENCE ALL VIPS WERE THERE, INCLUDING BUNTY, BASIL, QUEEN BETTY AND OTHERS. WE HEAR THAT ANDY THANKED HIS SUBJECTS AND GAVE A LIVE SPEECH ON BANGER INTERNATIONAL. WE HEAR EVEN THE HORSES ATTENDED ......DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday 5 June 2012
MORE........
WE HEAR THAT AFTER THE BANGERS WERE STRANDED AT CUSTOMS AFTER TAKING TOO MANY POSSESSIONS INCLUDING PIPES CIGARS AND SAUSAGES THEY DECIDED AFTER MISSING THEIR FLIGHT TO ABANDON THEIR HOLIDAY TO BENIDORM AT LEAST FOR NOW. TODAY INSTEAD THEY SPENT THE DAY AT THE BANGER RESIDENCE HAVING A JUBILEE LUNCH. WE HEAR THAT ANDY SAID THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE LINED THE STREETS TO SEE THEM RETURN AND GATHERED ROUND THE BANGER RESIDENCE. ANDY SAID THAT HE BELIEVED THAT HIS SUBJECTS WERE THERE TO SEE HIM AND BETTY CELEBRATE THEIR REIGN THANKED THEM AFTER COMING OUT ON THE BANGERS BALCONY TO WAVE AT THEM. WE HEAR THE PARTY IS GOING ON IN TO THE NIGHT, ANDY WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT THE PUBLIC HAD GATHERED TO SEE THE QUEEN WE DID TELL HIM THIS , HIS REPLY WAS YES QUEEN BETTY..... DEAR O DEAR
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