Thursday, 31 January 2013
BUNTY HITS BACK.................
BUNTY HAS TOLD US TONIGHT THAT ANDY IS A FAILUIRE HIMSELF HAS BIG IDEAS FOR BUSINESS BUT NEVER GETS ANYWHERE, THE ONLY THING HES FIT FOR IS SAUSAGES, AND EVEN THEM HE BURNS SHE SAYS, SHE SIAD SHE FEELS SORRY FOR BETTY PUTTING UP WITH HIM. SHE WENT ON TO SAY SHE HOPES TO APPEAR ON DRAGONS DEN LATER THIS YEAR TO GET THE DRAGONS TO BACK HER BUSINESS..............DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
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ANDY SAYS THAT BAUNTYS NEW BUSINESS VENTURE, TO HAVE HER OWN BOUTIQUE WILL BE A FAILURE BEFORE ITS EVEN STARTED BECAUSE SHE WILL NOTHAVE HIS BUSINESS ACCUMEN OR GUIDANCE BUNTY IS NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN UNFORTUNATELY HE SAID AND SHOULD STICK TO SMOKING CIGARS................DEAR O DEAR
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HOW MUCH MOE CAN WE TAKE, FIRST WE HEAR HES MAKING A MUSICAL, NOW ITS ANDY THE MOVIE, WELL WHERE ITS GOING TO BE MADE , HOW, WHEN ETC, MAKES THE MING BOGGLE........PLRASE LET IT BE A WIND UP, BUT WE HEAR HES ALREADY TALKING OF A PREMERE.............
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BUNTY IS THINKING OF OPENING A BOUTIQUE, TO BE CALLED BUNTYS BOUTIQUE, TO SELL PRIMARILY CIGARS OF COURSE AS WELL AS SPIRITUAL GIFTS ETC....SHE SAYS SHE IS THINKING OF STARTING UP HER OWN BUSINESS WITHOUT ANDY SHE SAID, I DONT NEED HIM...............GOOD LUCK WITH IT BUNTY!
THE BANGER BAR!!!
SMOOTH MILK CHOCOLATE ON OUTSIDE, CREAM ON THE INSIDE AND YES IN THE MIDDLE A SAUSAGE, THE NEW BANGER BAR.............DEAR O DEAR
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
MORE............
YES NOW ANDY SAYS HE USED TO BE A MONK, SEEMS HE'S DONE A LOT IN HIS LIFE IT'S AMAZING HOW HE'S DONE ALL THESE THINGS IN A SHORT AMOUNT A TIME, HE HAS TO ALWAYS BE ONE BETTER.......
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WELL WE ARE TOLD ANDY SAYS HE'S NEVER TOLD ANYONE BEFORE BUT HE CLAIMS HES A SELF ORDAINED PRIEST, AND BUNTY NOW TELLS US THAT SHE WAS ONCE A NUN WHEN YOUNGER, SO IT SEEMS WE HAVE FATHER ANDY AND SISTER BUNTY.......NEWS TO US!
MORE.........BPS?
YES B P S , WOULD YOU BRLIEVE IS THE NEW ORGANISATION BANGERS PLANNING CALLED BANGERS POTHOLE SERVICES. NOW JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT OUR ROADS COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE THAN THE STATE THEY ARE IN ANDY SAYS MOTORISTS WORRIES ARE OVER. HE PLANS TO REPAIR ALL THE POTHOLES IN ST ALBANS, GOD KNOWS HOW. THIS CAN ONLY MEAN MORE CHAOS, SO BACE YOURSELVES......
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YES ANDYS ANSWER TO THE PROPOSED NEW RAIL ROUTE THROUGH ST ALBANS IS BANGER RAILWAYS. HES TOLD BETTY HE WILL GIVE HER MORE MONEY EVERY WEEK TO FUND THE BANGER RAILWAYS SO THERE EONT BE ANY NEED TO BUILD THE RAIL ROUTE THROUGH THE CITY.......DEAR P DEAR DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IS WORSE!
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
UPDATE..........
BREATHE EASY WITH BUNTY, YES YOU CAN LEARN BREATHING EXERCISES WITH BUNTY BUT WITH A DIFFERENCE, WITH A CIGAR IN YOUR MOUTH. YES SHE CLAIMS THAT PEOPLE WILL BREATHER BETTER AND EASIER IF THEY HAVE A CIGAR IN THEIR MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME. SEEMS A CRAZY IDEA BUT SHE SAYS IT WORKS AND TODAY WAS INVITING THE PUBLIC IN ST ALBANS HIGH STREET TO JOIN THEM, WILL YOU? .......
BUNTY HITS BACK.........
BUNTY HAS HIT BACK SAYING THAT SHE WOULD NEVER PHONE ANDY AGAIN AND HE SHOULDN'T FLATTER HIMSELF , SHE SAID ANDY THINKS HIS PHONE RINGS ALL THE TIME FROM PEOPLE WANTING TO SPEAK TO HIM. HE IS DELUDED SHE SAID SHE HAS FAR MORE INTERESTING PROPLE TO SPEAK TO AND MAYBE BETTY SHOULD GIVE HIM A RING.......DEAR O DEAR
FEUD BETWEEN ANDY & BUNTY HOTS UP..........
ANDY HAS TOLD BUNTY TO BARR TELEPHONE CALLS FROM BUNTY. HE SAID HE'S TOLD HIS RECEPTIONIST/SECRETARY BETTY TO BAN ALL CALLS FROM HER AND TELL HER HE'S ON THE TELEPHONE PREFERENCE LIST.......DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 28 January 2013
UPDATE..........
YES ANDY IS ASKING IF YOU HAVE ANY CONFESSIONS YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE, WHY BECAUSE HE IS THINKING OF BECOMING A PRIEST. APPARANTLEY HE SAID IS VERY RELIGIOUS AND HAS ALWAYS WANTED TO BECOME A MAN OF THE CLOTH. HE SAYS IF MR STAINES , MR HSLL OR BARNWELL HAS ANYTHING THEY WOULD LIKE TO CONFESS THEY CAN CONFIDE IN HIM......DEAR O DEAR
Sunday, 27 January 2013
Friday, 25 January 2013
Thursday, 24 January 2013
UPDATE.................ANDYS 51st RESIDENTS WEEKEND.....................
WITH THE FIRST RESIDENTS WEEKEND TAKING PLACE THIS WEEKEND AROUD ST ALBANS, ANDY ONCE AGAIN HAS HAD TO OVER RIDE THE HEADLINES, HE CLAIMS HE IS HOSTING HIS 51st RESIDENTS WEEKEND WOULD YOU BELIEVE AT HIS RESIDENCE. COME & MEET BETTY HE TELLS THE PUBLIC, ITS AN EXCELLENT CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW THE BANGERS BETTER AND US GET TO KNOW YOU..HES EVEN SAID THE PUBLIC ARE FREE TO HAVE A WRESTLE WITH BETTY, WELL NO COMMENT ON THAT ONE.................
ST ANDY OF ALBANS.......................
ANDY HAS ANOTHER MAD IDEA HES TRYING TO GET OFFICALLY THE NAME ST ANDY OF ALBANS. HE THINKS ITS ABOUT TIME THE CITY HAD ANOTHER SAINT BUT THIS ONE TO BE NAMED AFTER HIM. MY PUBLIC LOVE ME HE SAID AND ITS THE LEAST I CAN DO TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING BACK..............DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE..................ANDY THE ONLY LANGUAGE HE UNDERSTANDS!!!!!!!
BREAKING............................WHATS THIS???????? ASKS A ST ALBANS RESIDENT
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BUNTY HOWEVER IS CELEBRATING BURNS NIGHT TOO WE ARE TOLD, BUT WITH HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY YES HER BOYS, WHO WILL ALL HAVE A GLASS OF WHISKY & A LARGE CIGAR................WHAT A SURPRISE BUNTY!!!!
UPDATE....................
UPDATE.......................
BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE HAVE HEARD FROM BASIL BANGER BUT WE HEAR HES DEEPLY ENTRENCHED IN A NEIGHBOURLY WAR. WE ARE TOLD HE HAS TAHKS IN HIS BACK GARDEN GRENADES AS WELL AND SNIPER RIFLES OVER NEXT DOORS FENCE....WE DONT KNOW HOW IT STRATED BUT WE ARE TOLD WITHIN THE NEXT 24HRS HE PLANS TO INVADE NEXT DOOR WITH HIS BERY OWN SAS.................DEAR O DEAR O DEAR BELOW........ BASIL ALREADY RAMS NEXT DOORS FENCE WITH PHASE 1, AND TANK 
IN POISTION WITH WHAT HE CALLS OPERATION BANGER
UPDATE.................BETTY THE SUMO WRESTLER
QUESTION, IS SHOULD ANDY MOVE OUT NOW? . WITH BETTY UNDERTAKING SUMO WRESTLING LESSONS WE HERE, IT COULD BE THAT ANDY HAS EVERYTHING TO FEAR. ANDY HAS SAID THAT HE ENCOURAGES BETTY AND IS BEHIND HER AS EVEN SHE HAS THE RIGHT BODY FOR THE SPORT. INFACT HE CLAIMS THAT BETTY HAS TRIED OUT SOME TECHNIQUES ON HIM TOO................DEAR O DEAR
LATEST............ANDY CAUSES MORE DAMAGE IN SNOW PLOUGH
YES TODAY PEOPLE WERE AMAZED WHEN WAITING FOR THEIR USUAL BUS , TO SEE ANDY TURN UP AND YET AGIN DID SOME DAMAGE THIS TIME TO THIER LOCAL BUS SHELTER . THNKFULLY NO ONE WAS HURT BUT IT WASNT WHAT THEY WERE EXPECTING, INSTEAT ANDY SHOUTED OUT CAN YOU BELIEVE THE WORDS...IM NOT GOING YOURE WAY??? DEAR O DEAR BELOW THE BUS SHELTER DAMAGE............. 
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
LATEST.....................ANDY CAUSES DAMAGE WITH SNOW PLOUGH
AS WE FEARED OUR WORST NIGHTMARE COME TRUE BANGER HAS ALREADY HIT AND DAMAGED A PROPERTY BELOW TODAY, WE HEAR WHEN THE OWNER CAME OUT,ANDY SAID SORRY ACCIDENT AND DROVE OFF.....WE ALSO HEAR WHEN HE GOT BACK TO HIS RESIDENCE HE REVERSED IN TO HIS SHED AND SHOUTED OUT IM HOME BETTY.............DEAR O DEAR,NOTHING IS SAFE.....< BELOW A PHOTO THAT A PASSER BY TOOK TODAY OF PROPERTY HIT BY BANGER....... 
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BANGER JEALOUS ON HEARING THAT BUNTY WANTS A NATIONAL CIGAR DAY, ONCE AGAIN HAS HAD TO GO ONE BETTER CALLING FOR AN INTERNATIONAL PIPE DAY...EVERYONE I MEAN EVERYONE BIG OR SMALL SHOULD SMOKE A PIPE, THEY NEED TO LEARN ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN LIFE, HE SAID I FIRST HAD MY OWN PIPE WHEN I WAS FOUR???? EVERYONE SHOULD OWN AT LEAST ONE PIPE IN THE HOUSE........ 
UPDATE...............
BUNTY HAS ASKED THE PRIME MINISTER TO INTRODUCE A NATIONAL CIGAR DAY..EVERYONE WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT WOULD HAVE TO FOR ONE DAY INDULGE IN SMOKING A CIGAR. LETS CELEBRATE THIS WONDERFUL GOD GIVEN THING THEY CALL THE CIGAR SHE SAYS AND SHOW E CARE............DEAR O DEAR...............BELOW A PHOTO OF BUNTY & A FRIEND ENJOYING A CIGAR MOMENT 
UPDATE................ALERT OVER ANDY WITH SNOW PLOUGH
EARLIER WE BROUGHT YOU WORRYING NEWS THAT BANGER HAS OBTAINED A SNOW PLOUGH, WELBELOW WE TOOK A PHOTO TODAY OF HIM IN IT AS YOU CAN SEE, HE WAS SURPRISED. WE DONT KNOW WHERE HE GOT IT FROM AS NOBODY HAS REPORTED ONE MISSING, WE BELIEVE ANDY TOLD BETTY HES FED UP WITH THIS SNOW AND IS TAKING MATTERS IN TO HIS OWN HANDS TO GET AROUND...............WATCH OT EVERYONE 
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HAVE YOU GOT THE BUNTY BLUES????WELL BUNTY SAYS SHE HAS, SHE SUFFERS FROM SAD SYNDROME AND ONLY HAS TO THINK OF BROTHER ANDY AND THEN GETS SEVERELY DEPRESSED.....GET WELL SOON BUNTY AND THINK OF SOMETHING MORE NICER!
Monday, 21 January 2013
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ANDY BANGER HAS ACCUSED BARNWELL OF BUILDING AND HIBERNATING IN AN IGLOO. ALL WEEKEND WITH MR STAINES & MR HALL. HE ACCUSED THEM AFTER THE SCHEDULED BROADCAST FOR LAST SATS PROGRAMME COULD NOT GO AHEADHE ALSO ACCUSED ALL THREE OF TURNING IN TO ESKIMOS....HAS HE LOST IT???THIS THE MAN WHO CLAIMS HE WAS SNOWBOUND ALL WEEKEND AND GOT HIS WFE BETTY TO DIG HIM OUT...........HOW SHAMEFUL...
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GETTING REPORTS BANGER COULD NOT COME IN TO THE SHOW SATURDAY BECAUSE HE WAS SNOWED IN . HE CLAIMS 12ft SNOW DRIFTS SURROUNDED THE HOUSE HE SAID ITS WAS SNOW JOKE AND HE COULDN'T SEE OUT THE WINDOWS. WE HEAR HE MADE BETTY DIG THEM OUT OF THE SNOW ALL WEEKEND ......DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
Saturday, 19 January 2013
Thursday, 17 January 2013
AS PROMISED........PHOTOS OF BUNTY AS A YOUNG GIRL SMOKING EVEN THEN WITH CIGARS.......ANDYS REVENGE
FIRST BELOW A VERY YOUNG BUNTY, STARTING SMOKING EVEN AT THAT AGE 
THEN.............IN HER TEENAGE YEARS............
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ANDY MAKES HIS OWN PREDICTION FOR BUNTY, SHE WILL NEVER GIVE UP CIGARS, AND WILL LOSE HIM AS A BROTHER............DEAR O DEAR
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
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BUNTY HAS MADE HER OWN PREDICTIONS FOR 2013 COURTESEY OF HER TAROT CARDS.......SHE PREDICTS THAT....... ANDY WILL GO BANKRUPT, WITH HIS VENTURES GOING IN TO LIQUIDATION, PLUS BETTY WILL GET PREGNANT????? DERECK..... WILL RUN FASTER THAN EVER ON HIS TREADMILL BEATING THE WORLD RECORD. STEVEN......WILL BECOME A MILLIONAIRE..... AND BARNWELL......WILL TAKE UP HORSE RIDING AND ENTER THE NEXT OLYMPIC........ SHE ALSO PREDICTS THAT SHE WILL BECOME A DAME BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR........ WELL, LET'S JUST HOPE SHE'S WRONG WITH ALL HER PREDICTIONS........
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ANDY SAYS THAT THERE WILL SOON BE A MUSICAL BASED ON THE LIFE OF ANDY FOR ALL HIS FANS. APPARANTLEY HE'S JUST GOT TO FIND A WEST END PRODUCER THAT WILL HELP HIM WITH HIS IDEAS.......DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
UPDATE...........
ANDY WE ARETOLD WAS FURIOUS AT BUNTY SENDING IN A PHOTO TO SAT SUPREME OF HIM AS A CHILD SMOKING A PIPE. AN EMBARRASED ANDY VOWS REVENGE TELLING US HE WILL NEVER TALK TO BUNTY AGAIN. NOT ONLY THAT BUT HE PROMISES TO FORWARD A PHOTO OF BUNTY SMOKING A CIGAR WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD.WE WILL PUBLISH THIS PHOTO SHOULD WE RECIEVE IT OR IS THIS AN EMPTY THREAT?
IS IT EDDIE THE EAGLE???? .........NO IT'S BANGER!!!'
WELL WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT ANDY BANGER HAS BEEN SEEN OUT SKIING BUT ONLY PROBLEM IS THERE WAS NO SNOW ON THE GROUND IN ST ALBANS HIGH STREET. WITNESSES REPORTS SEEING A BEARDEDMAN WITH A PIPE TRYING TO SKI IN ST ALBANS HIGH STREET, ONE PERSON SAID ARE YOU MAD WHERE'S THE SNOW, HOW YOU GONNA MOVE? BANGER REPLIED HOW VERY DARE YOU! WHATEVER HAS GOT IN TO BANGER??????
Monday, 14 January 2013
UPDATE.....................
BUNTY APPARANTLEY WAS UP ALL LAST NIGHT WITH CONDOR WHO COULDNT SLEEP AND KEPT HAVING NIGHMARES ABOUT RECENTLY EATING ANDYS TURKEY...BUNTY SAID SHE HAD A TERRIBLE TIME WITH HIM SHE SAID HE WAS VERY RESTLESS. EVENTUALLY BUNTY LET HIM SLEEP WITH HER IN HER BED WHERE HE FELL ASLEEP..........BUNTY SAID THAT BROTHER OF MINE HAS TRAUMATISED MY YOUNG BOY......DEAR O DEAR
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WE HEAR THAT AFTER TWO OF OUR LISTENERS TONY & SHIRLEY KINDLY OFFERED TO TAKE ANDY IN & GIVE HIM A HOME FOR A WHILE, AS BETTY HAD CHUCKED HIM OUT, ANDY DECIDED IT WOULD BE TOO COLD THERE AND WENT BACK TO HIS RESIDENCE TO SORT THINGS OUT. WE SINCE HAVE HEARD THAT THEY HAVE BOTH RECONCILED THEIR DIFFERENCES BUT BETTY STILL HAS PATCHES ON BOTH HER EYES AND DID NOT TAKE KINDLY TO ANDYS VERION PLAYED ON THE SHOW ON SATURDAY OF ONCE THERE WAS AN UGLY BETTY..........
Thursday, 10 January 2013
UPDATE.....................
YES COULD IT BE THE YEAR OF THE ANDY?? WELL AT LEAST ANDY THINKS SO, HE SAYS FORGET THE THE CHINESE YEAR OF THE SNAKE ITS THE YEAR OF THE ANDY???.............DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE..................
WITH THE RECENT WEEKLY PHONE IN SHOW OF NICK CLEGG IN THE NEWS, ANDY WANTS TO DO A WEEKLY PHONE IN SLOT OF HIS OWN, HE SAYS HE WILL BE ABLE TO ANSWEER ALL QUESTIONS THAT THE PUBLIC MAY HAVE TO ASK ABOUT HIM????..........WELL THAT SHOULDNT TAKE TOO LONG THEN............
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
UPDATE..............
WE HEAR ANDYS LUCK FOR THE NEW YEAR DOSENT GET ANY BETTER. HES SISTER BUNTY AFTER UPSETTING HER AT CHRISTMAS HAS INFORMED THE HEALTH AND SAFETY ABOUT ANDYS OUT OF DATE TURKEY WHICH MADE HER ILL . APPARANTLEY A MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD TURNED UP AT THE BANGER RESIDENCE TODAY BUT BETTY WOULDN'T ANSWER......
UPDATE.........
BANGER THE BEGGAR, YES HE'S STILL ASKING FOR CHANGE FROM PEOPLE AND EVEN ASKED ONE PERSON FOR A SPARE PIPE WOULD YOU BELIEVE. ONE LADY SAID YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSEF HE THEN REPLIED LET ME HAVE A SAUSAGE THEN.....PUBLIC WITNESSES REPORT A BEARDED OLD MAN WANDERING THE STREETS ASKING FOR SAUSAGES AND PLEADING FOR BETTY......
Monday, 7 January 2013
UPDATE........
WE HEAR ANDY IS LIVING LIFE ON THE STREETS OF ST ALBANS SINCE BETTY HAS CHUCKED HIM OUT. WITH A WIFE AND SISTER THAT HAVE ABANDONED HIM ANDY HAS BEEN GOING ROUND ASKING PEOPLE FOR SOME SPARE CHANGE. BUT ANDY WE WELL KNOW HAS MONEY IN THE BANK AND IS NOT POOR HE'S EVEN PHONED BARNWELL ASKING FOR SOME MILK AND SUGAR TO SPARE.......DEAR O DEAR
Thursday, 3 January 2013
BREAKING....................ANDY TURNS AT CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER HOUSE TONIGHT...............
MORE..................BANGERS BOG ROLLS HES SELLING!!
THIS IS A PHOTO OF BANGERS BOG ROLLS, AS YOU WILL SEE IT LOOKS NICE ENOUGH, HE EVEN CLAIMS TO MAKE THEM LOOK MORE EXPENSIVE HES PUT HIS FACE ON THEM ON A MONEY CURRENCY TO MAKE THEM LOOK MORE LUXURIOUS AS WELL..........HOWEVER WE HAVE ALREADY HAD COMPLAINTS FROM CUSTOMERS WHO UNFORTUNATELY HAVE BEEN DUPED IN TO BUYING THEM. ONE SAID MY BACKSIDE WONT STOP ITCHING, ANOTHER SAID IM RED RAW AND CANT SIT DOWN AND ANOTHER CLAIMS THEY CANT GET THE TOILET ROLL OFF THEMSLEVES..............DEAR O DEAR O DEAR 
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WE HEAR THAT ANDY HAD THE WORST PARTY EVER, IT STARTED WHEN HE POPPPED A PARTY POPPPR AND IT HIT BETTY IN THE EYE, AND THEN AT MIDNIGHT HE OPENED A B OTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, AND AGAIN THE CORK HIT BETTY IN THE OTHER EYE WOULD YOU BELIVE. POOR BETTY SPENT EARLY NEW YEARS DAY IN CASUALTY..... POOR BETTY HAS TWO EYE PATCHES ON AND HAS SINCE CHUCKED HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE, WE DONT KNOW WHERE HES STAYING......ITS BEEN A TERRIBLE START TO THE NEW YEAR FOR ANDY............
LATEST..................
IT MAYBE A NEW YEAR BUT SAME OLD ANDY, WATCH OUT FOR BANGERS BOG ROLLS, THEY MAY LOOK NICE BUT YOU WONT SIT DOWN FOR A WHILE...........THEY ARE ALREADY ON SALE WE HOPE TO HAVE A PIC OF THEM LATER TO SHOW YOU WHAT NOT TO BUY...........
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