BREAKING.......... APRIL FOOL ANDY??????

MORE........

FELICITY FORTUNE IS WHAT FELICITY.IS BRANDING HERSELD UNDER HER TAROT  NEW BUSINESS.

ALSO WE HEAR SHE HAS BEEN BUSY TONIGHT ON.THE MOST BUSIEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR FOR WITCHES,  SHES MET UP. WITH SOME FRIENDS DRESSED UP.AS STEVIE NICKS.....

BREAKING......... FELICITY FORTUNE????

MORE.......

FANCY AN EASTER EGG WITH A DIFFERENCE,? WELL.TRY .BUNTYS EXCLUSIVE CIGAR EGG.

SMOOTH CHOCOLATE ON THE OUTSIDE WITH A CIGAR CENTRE, YES A MINI CIGAR INSIDE THE EGG,.PERFECT FOR EVERYONE FOR EASTER????

BREAKING.........BUNTYS CIGAR EASTER EGG????

MORE...........

BANGER IS INTRODUCING WHAT HE SAYS IS A MORE COMFORTABLE WAY TO FLY ON HIS BANGER. AIRLINES,  BANGER BUSINESS CLASS.

FOR THE MORE DISCERNING TRAVELLER WHO KBOW WHAT THEY WANT, FLY BANGER BUSINESS CLASS???

BREAKING.........BANGER BUSINESS CLASS????

BREAKING..........................REPORTS BUNTYS BOYS TO MOVE IN TO HER HOUSE WITH HER ???????

SPECIAL REPORT FROM STEPHEN HALL..........................

 have heard that here in St Albans that they what to do a Stage of Dads Army so Andy says and they have asked him who else to play Mainwaring.

 

Felicity says Hammer are remaking a classic Horror and want her to play a Witch.

 

 

Bunty says she has been offered the part of Head Mistress in yet another Saint Trinains remake.

 

 

I never knew the Bangors were all actors they always said Andy should be on the Stage.

THANKS STEVE.............................

MORE..................................

BANGER HAS CHALLENGED  ALL THE PARTY LEADERS TO A ON TV DEBATE, COME ON HJE SAYS LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE ALL MADE OF.

I WILL  CHALLENGE THEM ANYTIME TO PROVE I AM THE COUNTRYS NEXT PRIME MINISTER, WHAT ARE THEY WAITING AND SCARED OF ????

SPECIAL REPORT FROM STEPHEN HALL.................................

Andy has been busy over the last two weekends with his Steam Railway. Andy has been preparing for the re opening of his railway Easter Weekend.

 

 

Bunty has been organising a Campaign  to encourage local School Girls to learn Horse Riding.

 

 

Felicity has been busy organising a big meeting of all local witches.

THANKS STEVE FOR UPDATE.................................

BREAKING.........................BANGER VS THE PARTY LEADERS????????

MORE......................

THIS WEEKEND THE CLOCKS GO FORWARD, AND FELICITY SAYS SHE WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO NEW BEGINNINGS, COMETH THE HOUR SHE SAYS WHEN IT STRIKES 1AM SUN MORNING. THATS WHEN WE WILL BE AT OUR MOST SPIRITUAL........................DEAR O DEAR.

BREAKING........ FELICITY SAYS THIS WEEKEND COMETH THE HOUR?????

MORE......

BANGER SAYS WHY ARE THE CLOCKS GOIBG FORWARD THIS WEEKEND?

 HE SAID IVE NEVER SEEN A CLOCK GO FORWARD,  MINE DONT MOVE HE SAID I HAVE TO PHYSICALLY MOVE THEM...... DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING...... IS BANGER GOING FORWARD????

MORE.......

WE HEAR THAT THANKS TO BUNTY WE COULD BE ON THE VERGE OF THE FIRST EVER CIGAR CHOCOLATE BAR, IT WOULD BE CALLED THE BUNTY BOYNTY AS UT WOULD BE BASED ON THE BOUNTY.BAR.

BUNTY SAYS.IT WOULD  BE A EDIBLE SMOKING CHOCOLATE BAR, SMOKE IT WHILST YOU EAT IT,  OH PLEASE

BREAKING......... BUNTY ON THE BOUNTY????

MORE........

BANGER SAYS. ANYTIME IS A GOOD TIME TO HAVE A SAUSAGE,  DOSENT MATTER WHERE YOU ARE OR WHAT THE SITUATION HAVE A SAUSAGE TODAY.......

BREAKING....... ANYTIME IS SAUSAGE TIME?????

MORE.................

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT FELICITY WAS DANCING AROUND  THE HI FI THIS MORNING PLAYING STEVE NICKS WHILST LOOKING UP AT THE SOLAR ECLIPSE SATING ITS A TIME OF NEW BEGINNINGS, LETS CELEBRATE....................DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING........FELICITY.CELEBRATES THE SOLAR ECLIPSE????

                                        

SPECIAL REPORT......................STEPHEN HALL

Bunty has just rung to say that her Daughter has turned Groves in to a  Black Cat and tried to turn Andy in to a toad.

 

Bunty said she is becoming frightening what with her Witches Sabbeth tonight.

 

However Bunty I throught turning Andy in to a Toad would be a improvement.

THANKS  STEVE FOR UPDATE................

SPECIAL REPORT BY STEPHEN HALL.................................

                                   



Andy says I dont blame barnwell and Derek for  not wanting to go to Buntys Mansion/

I  invite you to one Bettys dinner Parties instead.

Dont take any notice of my Niece she needs to see a shrink she is completly deluded to think she has Psychic Powers.



also...............

Groves has just rang again to say that Barnwell and Derek must come to Buntys Mansion this weekend or Felicity will cast a spell on them both.

THANKS STEVE FOR UPDATE..................

MORE.....................

WELL, WE HEAR THAT THE REASON BARNWELL IS CALLED BARNEY IS BECAUSE HE LIVES AT 53 BARNEY AVENUE,. APPARANTLEY IT WASNT KNOWN  UNTIL RECENTLY, BUT HE HAS REVEALED THIS IN A RECENT CONVERSATION  AT VERULAM STUDIOS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

BREAKING....... BARNEY AVENUE????

MORE.......

BUNTY SAYS THIS YEAR THERE WILL BE A BUNTY BABY BOOM.

THESE ARE BABIES WITH A DIFFERENCE THEY ARE CIGAR BABIES. SO WHEN THEY CRY,  YOU DONT GIVE THEM A DUMMY THEY WANT A CIGAR. FELICITY SAYS TYE ASTROLOGICAL INFLUENCE IS RIGHT.... DEAR O DEAR

BREAKIBG....... PREPARE FOR A BUNTY BOOM????

MORE........

WITH THE ACTUAL.BUDGET LOOMING TOMORROW,  BANGER SAYS HES ALSO PREPARING HES LATEST OFFERING,  WE WOULD PREFER IT IF YOU DIDNT ANDY....

BREAKING......... BANGER PLANS HES BUDGET????

SPECIAL REPORT FROM STEVEN HALL.........................

Andy says his sister and niece should have been locked away years ago, Andy says they are completly bonkers.


Andy says  Its about time we had a National Moggy Minor Day.

However Feliciy thinks  there should be National Stevie Nicks  Day.

THANKS STEVE FOR UPDATES......................

MORE...................

TOMORROW WE KNOW IS OFFICIALLY ST PATRICKS DAY , BUT BANGER THINKS HES CHANGED THAT TO ST BANGERS DAY . HES BEEN GOING WOUND THE STREETS SAYING TOMORROW IS ST BANGERS DAY NOT ST PATRICKS DAY , PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ....................

BREAKING........................ST BANGERS DAY????

MORE....................

WE UNDERSTAND THAT BANGER HAS BEEN GOING ROUND AS WELL THIS MORNING  ON THE STREETS OF ST ALBANS SAYING TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU  TO THE PUBLIC, WE THINK THIS IS BECAUSE HES MIMICKING THE IRISH ACCENT FOR ST PATRICKS DAY .


WE THINK YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN MIND UP ON THIS ONE........................

BREAKING......................BANGER GOES IRISH???????

                                              

MORE.........................

WE HAVE BEEN GETTING REPORTS HERE AT SAT SUPREME CENTRE TODAY THAT BANGER HAS BEEN OUT RAISING MONEY WITH HIS RED NOSE TO KEEP THE MONEY FOR HIMSELF.


HES BEEN TAKING ADVANTAGE GOING UP TO THE PUBLIC SAYING GIVE ME SOME RELIEF FROM THIS SORE NOSE, AND GIVE WHAT YOU CAN.......................SHAME ON YOU ANDY !!!!!!

BREAKING.............................DISTURBING REPORTS BANGER HAS BEEN OUT RAISING MONEY TODAY WITH HIS RED NOSE..??????

BREAKING........................BANGER SAYS HE WILL NOT GO OUT ON FRIDAY 13TH ????

                                       


BEST TO STAY IN ANDY...........................

BREAKING........................FELICITY TUNED IN FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH, NEW BEGINNINGS FOR ALL SHE SAYS !!!!!!!!

MORE......................

NO COMIC RELIEF FOR BANGER WE HEAR HES BEEN GETTING HECKLED AND LAUGHED AT BY THE PUBLIC OF ST ALBANS FOR HIS RED BLOODY NOSE RECIEVED  WHEN HE WAS PUNCHED BY HIS NEIGHBOUR FOR RUINING THEIR DRIVEWAY.

APPARANTLEY THE PUBLIC THINK HIS NOSE IS A FAKE RED NOSE FOR RED NOSE CONFUSING IT WITH COMIC RELIEF ONLY HES IS REAL AND HES BEEN LOSING HIS TEMPER WHEN PEOPLE LAUGH TELLING THEM TO SHUT UP......................OH DEAR

BREAKING.............................NO COMIC RELIEF FOR BANGER???????

                               

MORE....................

VERA HAS DECLARED THE RADIO VERULAM TOILETS YET AGAIN OUT OF BOUNDS, SHE SAYS YET AGAIN A  SPECIALIST CLEAN IS NEEDED, AND URGE EVERYONE TO AVOID THE AREA.

WE EVEN HEAR THAT SIGNS HAVE BEEN PUT UP WARNING PASSERS BY OF POTENTIAL HAZARDS, VERA SAYS SHES DISGUSTED..................

BREAKING....... VERA MAKES A FRESH DISCOVERY.WHILST DOING A DEEP.CLEAN?????

MORE.......

YES BANGER HAS ENDED UP WITH A,PROPER RED.NOSE fOR RED NOSE DAY.

FOLLOWING HIS BULLDOZING AND BEW DRIVEVWAYTHAT   HES BEEN. BUILDING THROUGH HIS NEIGHBOURS FRONT GARDENS,  ONE OF HIS NEIGHBOURS LOST THEIR TEMPER AND GAVE HIM A RED.NOSE,  HES NOT TOO.HAPPY,  BUT ANDY AT LEAST YOU WONT HAVE TO.BUY ONE FOR TOMORROW NOW.....

BREAKING..... IT MAY BE RED NOSE DAY FRIDAY, BUT BANGER GOT ONE TODAY??????

                                    

MORE.......

WE HEAR THAT A. SALES CALLER WAS SHOCKED WHEN HE PHONED BUNTYS OFFERING A WINDOW CLEANIBG SERVICE

.
MANIKIN,  ON OF HER BOYS WHO IS A HORSE ABSWERED THE PHONE WITH A NEY,  THE CALLER QUICKLY PUT THE PHONE DOWN,  SHE SAYS ITS NIT UNUSUAL FOR MY.HORSES TO.ANSWER THE PHONE IF IT RINGS.....

BREAKING....... CALLER AMAZED WHEN RINGING BUNTYS, HORSE ANSWERS PHONE????

MORE.......

AFTER .BUNTYS NEWS OF BEING OFFERED A FILM ROLE AS THE CIGAR WOMAN,  BANGER SAYS HES BEEN APPROACHED BY HOLLYWOOD. TO PLAY LEADING ROLE AS, THE  PIPE MAN.

WE WILL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE WHETHER IS TRUE OR JUST ANOTHER ONE OF BANGERS PIPE DREAMS......

BREAKING.........BANGER NOW SAYS HES NOW BEEN OFFERED LEADING ROLE IN A MOVIE CALLED......THE PIPE MAN???????

                         

MORE......

WE HEAR BARNWELL SAYS HES BIRTHDAY HAS COME TO A DISTASTEFUL CONCLUSION THIS EVENING AFTER A RUDE.BIRTHDAY SURPRISE SET UP BY BANGER.

HE SAYS THERE WAS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER FRIEND TO JOIN MY.BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES A HUGE WOMAN STOOD THERE IN A.BIRTHDAY.BIKINI OUTFIT,  SHE SAID HI. IM.BIRTHDAY BETTY. I QUICKLY SHUT TGE DOOR DAZED....... VERY DISTASTEFUL.

BREAKING....... BETTY TURNS UP ON.BARNWELLS DOORSTEP AS BIRTHDAY GRAM???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BARNWELL WHO IS CELEBRATING TODAY ALTHOUGH.HE WONT TELL US. HOW OLD HE IS!!!!

                                          

MORE.......

WELL, IS BUNTY ABOUT TO.BECOME A FILM.STAR,  RUMOUR HAS IT SHE HAS BEEN APPROACHED BY A MAJOR FILM PRODUCER,  TO BE THE LEADING ROLE FOR A FILM.CALLED THE CIGAR WOMAN


BUNTY IS VERY EXCITED WE HEAR,  WE WAIT TO.HEAR MORE

BREAKING........ BUNTY OFFERED FILM ROLE AS THE, CIGAR WOMAN???

                    

MORE........

WE HEAR YET AGAIN BANGER HAS UPSET HIS NEIGHBOURS.

APPARANTLEY BANGER IS BUIDING A DRIVEWAY THROUGH HIS NEIGHBOURS BACK GARDENS. REPORTS SAY THEY WERE WOKEN UP.AT 5AM BY DRILLING AND CEMENT MIXERS AND A BULLDOZER.

BANGER SAID IVE DECIDED I WANT TO BUILD AN EXTENDED.DRIVEWAY. HE EVEN TOLD HIS NEIGHBOUR IF YOU.DONT MY DRIVEWAY.THROUGH.YOUR GARDEN MOVE OUT....... HES SO ARROGANT

BREAKING NEWS........ BANGER UPSETS HIS NEIGHBOURS (AGAIN)

                                          

MORE.....................

YES BANGER WILL BE ABOUT IN THE STREETS OF ST ALBANS NEXT WEEK PARADING  HIS HUGE RED NOSE.


BANGER CLAIMS THAT HE WILL RAISE THOUSANDS FOR HIMSELF.......................

MORE.....................

YES BANGERLAND IS TO COMPETE AGAINST POUNDLAND, AND SELL PRODUCTS EVEN CHEAPER HES CALLING IT BANGERLAND.


EXPEC TO SEE PRICES AT 98P INSTEAD OF 99P , WE WILL NOT BE BEATEN HE SAYS, JUST TRUST BANGERLAND FOR ALL YOUR ESSENTIALS AT THE PRICE YOU CAN AFFORD...................

BREAKING........................RED NOSE BANGER ?????

BREAKING.......................BANGERLAND?????

MORE.......................

EL BEE IS TRYING TO GET TOGETHER BIKERS FROM ALL OVER THE NATION FOR AN EASTER WEEKEND BIKER EVENT. IM HOOKING UP WITH BIKERS EVERYWHERE HE SAID, ITS BEEN A WHILE AND WE NEED TO GO FOR A RIDE FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.....................

BREAKING.......................BASIL WANTS TO JOIN THE QUEENS GUARDS??????

BREAKING.........................EL BEE TO GET A BIKER EVENT ARRANGED FOR EASTER WEEKEND ????

MORE......................

WELL, SOON ITS ST PATRICKS DAY , BANGER FANCIES HIMSELF AS AN IRISH LEPRICORN, HE SAYS BE LUCKY AND GET YOURSELF A LITTLE IRISH BANGER, & CELEBRATE THE DAY IN STYLE............................

BREAKING.....................IRISH BANGER??????

MORE.....................

WE HEAR BANGER HAS STARTED OFFERING WHAT HE CALLS HIS SPRING SERVICES....ANYTHINGFROM MOWING THE LAWN, TO PRUNING BACK ROSES, OR CLEARING UP THE GARDEN, TO HAVING A COMPLETE SPRING CLEAROUT, HE CLAIMS HES THEN MAN TO HIRE.....................


WHY NOT HIRE BANGERS SPRING CLEANING SERVICES TODAY........................

BREAKING.......................BANGERS SPRING SERVICES?????

MORE...................

CHEEKY CHAS WHOS DUE TO RE COMMENCE AT THE STATION THIS WEEKEND AS SECURITY GUARD, HAS LOST HES KEYS ALREADY.

HE HAS TOLD SAT SUPREME, I CANT REMEMBER WHERE I PUT THEM , WELL CHAS HOW ABOUT STARTING TO LOOK AT WHERE YOU WERE
 LAST,  VERAS???????

THIS WEEKS TOP TUNE ON THE SHOW WAS ..........................MAROON 5 WITH SUGAR RADIO..........................WHAT WILL IT BE THIS SAT ????? TUNE IN FIND OUT

BREAKING................CHAS LOSES KEYS ???.

BREAKING........ CHAS TO RETURN THIS SAT TOO.????

..

MORE.........

BANGER CLAIMS THAT HE ALWAYS KNOWS BEST.

IF IN DOUBT,  LEAVE IT OUT & ASK BANGER HE SAYS,  TOO MANY EXPERTS AROUND CLAIM TO KNOW THE ANSWERS.WHERE I ACTUALLY HAVE THE ANSWERS HE SAYS,  YOU KNOW I KNOW BEST......

BREAKING......... BANGER KNOWS BEST???

BREAKING........ BANGER SAYS, BETTY HAS SPRUNG????

BREAKING....... VERA TO RE START CLEANING STUDIOS THIS SAT??? .........................TERRIFIED WITH WHAT AWAITS HER!!!!!!

MORE.......

SPRING HAS SPRUNG,  AND BANGER HAS BEEN PLAYING THE PART IT SEEMS.


YES TO ACTUALLY PROVE HE HAS,A SPRING IN HIS STEP HES BEEN GOING AROUND ST ALBANS WE HEAR BOUNCING ON.A SPRING SHOUTING ITS SPRING,  SPRING  HAS SPRUNG,  DEAR O DEAR

BREAKING........SPRING HAS SPRUNG & BANGER HAS A SPRING IN.HIS STEP.?????

MORE.........

ITS THE NEW DANCE CRAZE. EVERYONE IS GOING CRAZY OVER THE BACKSTEP CIGAR BOOGIE

HERES THE THING,  BUNTY SAYS LIGHT A CIGAR. KEEP IT  IT IN YOUR MOUTH WITH NO.HANDS STEP BACK TWO THREE THEN FORWARD TWO THREE CLAPPIBG YOUR HANDS ALL THE TIME,  YOURE NOW DOING THE BUNTY BACKSTEP CIGAR BOOGIE.......

BREAKING........ BUNTYS BACKSTEP CIGAR BOOGIE?????

MORE......

YES THEY SAY THE EYES OF MARCH,  BUT BEWARE OF THE EYES OF BANGER.

SOME SAY THAT BANGERS EYES ARE VERY STRANGE AND WHEN HE LOOKS,AT YOU YOULL KNOW WHAT WE  MEAN,  MANU SAY HE MAKES YOU FEEL VERY UNEASY AND YOU GO STUFF WITH FEAR,  AND THATS JUST BETTY.....

BREAKING......... THE EYES OF MARCH? NO.THE EYES OF BANGER!!!!

BUNTY PLEASED THAT ASH FRIDAY HAS BEEN CELEBRATED AROUND THE WORLD........................