Thursday, 28 February 2013
MORE.................IS THIS THE NEWS WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR? THE BANGERS MOVE TO MARS?
WE HEAR THAT ANDY AND BETTY HAVE REPLIED TO AN AD FOR A COUPLE TO FLY TO MARS, BUT THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG, SOMETHING ANDY AND BETTY RARELY DO. WE ALSO HEAR WITH BETTYS WEIGHT THAT COULD ALSO CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR TAKE OFF...............DEAR O DEAR
LATEST......................
CHAS THE SECURITY GUARD AT RADIO VERULAM HAS THREATENED TO WALK, OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO ATTEND THE PROPOSED MEETING WITH BARNWELL & VERA YESTERDAY. HE CLAIMS THAT HE ONLY WANTED TO BE THERE FOR VERA FOR MORAL SUPPORT. HOWEVER BARNWELL REACTED , DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN MANAGEMENT DECISIONS WITH MY SHOW. A ROW BETWEEN BARNWELL AND CHAS HAS ERUPTED, WITH THE TWO AT LOGGERHEADS............
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
UPDATE..................
WOULD YOU GO ON A BANGERS HOLIDAY ? WELL HIS LATEST IDEA IS TO SET UP A BANGERS HOLIDAY BUSINESS WE HAVE YET TO HEAR WHAT HOLIDAY MAKERS WOULD GET FOR THEIR MONEY, LOCATIONS, PRICES, ETC, BUT YOU CAN GARUANTEE IT WILL BE A HOLIDAY NO ONE WOULD FORGET!!!!!!
MORE.................
WE HEAR THAT BASIL HAS TOLD US THAT THE INVASION OF THE EASTER EGGS HAS ALREADY STARTED, AND HE CLAIMS HE HAS BEEN ATTACKED BY AN EGG ALREADY AS HE STEPPED OUT OF HIS HOUSE, HE SAID THIS IS NOW WAR............DEAR O DEAR, WAS IT A CREME EGG OR ROLOS BASIL?????
MORE................BUNTYS BOYS SMOKE ALL HER CIGARS!!!
BUNTY WENT BALLISTIC THE OTHER DAY BECAUSE HER BOYS HAD SMOKED ALL HER CIGARS. BUNTY SAID THEY ARE ALL VERY NAUGHTY THERE WAS A CUPBOARD FULL OF CIGARS, AND WHEN I GOT HOME HAMLET WAS SMOKING THE LAST ONE,
THEY ARE NOW ON A SMOKING BAN.............DEAR O DEAR
THEY ARE NOW ON A SMOKING BAN.............DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 25 February 2013
MORE........
YES ANDY NOW IS TRYING TO DRUM UP SUPPORT FOR HIS LATEST IDEA FOR HIS FANS, THE ANDY APPRECIATION SOCIEY, AN ORGANISATION WHERE YOU BECOME A MEMBRR AND WORSHIP ANDY. YOULL NEED TO SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION FOR ANDY AND SEND HIM LOTS OF SAUSAGES AND FAN MAIL.....DEAR O DEAR, WHO WOULD BOTHER????
MORE..........
ANDYS EXPECTATIONS ONCE AGAIN HAVE BEEN SHATTERED. HE FAILED TO GET A GONG AT THE OSCARS, WE HEAR THAT THEY SENT HIM A MESSAGE FROM L A SAYING NO ACHIEVMENTS RECOGNISED......DEAR O DEAR , DOSENT GET ANY BETTER ANDY.....
Sunday, 24 February 2013
Thursday, 21 February 2013
BREAKING.....................BUNTY HITS BACK
BUNTY HAS ACCUSED ANDY OF BEING A SINGLE MINDED BABY, SAYING HE SHOULD GROW UP, NO WONDER PEOPLE CANT TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY SHES TOLD US AFTER HIS OUTBURST LAST NIGHT. HE NEEDS TO CARRY ON SULKING AND PUFFING ON HIS PIPE.........DEAR O DEAR
MORE.........................
WE HEAR AFTER BUNTYS APPEARANCE AT LAST NIGHTS BRITS, ITS CAUSED A FURIOUS ANDY WHO WAS BARRED TO UP THE GEAR OF THE FEUD BY ANDY TELLING EVERYONE BUNTY IS A FAKE, BOTH AS A PSYCHIC & AS PERSON....HES ALSO TOLD US THAT SHE SMOKES FAKE CIGARS?????
UPDATE.................
ANDY BANGER SAYS HES BEEN APPROACHED TO DO THE BBC TRAVEL NEWS???, HE CLAIMS HE IS ALSO THINKING OF SARTING HIS OWN BANGER TRAVEL NEWS SERVICE....WELL THATS NOT GOING TO GO ANYWHERE IS IT????
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
MORE..........A NIGHT ANDY WOULD RATHER FORGET?????
WELL, WE HEAR ANDY WAS NOT ONLY SHUNNED TONIGHT AT THE BRITS WITHOUT AN AWARD, BUT HE ALSO WAS NOT ALLOWED IN AS HE WAS TOLD THAT HE WASNT EVEN KNOWN. A FURIOUS ANDY TOLD SECURITY AT THE DOIR EVERYONE KNOWS ME AND ASK MY SISTER WHOS AT THE EVENT CALLED BUNTY. AFTER SECURITY ASKED BUNTY IF SHE KNEW HIM SHE SAID PUFFING ON A CIGAR, I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE , SHE SHE TOLD SECURITY LOOKS LIKE A GATECRASHER TRYING IT ON.....A FURIOUS ANDY SAYS BUNTY WILL BE SORRY.......DEAR O DEAR
MORE.........
BANGER HAD TO ONCE AGAIN OVER RIDE THE HEADLIES ONF THE NIGHT BEING THE BRITS....HE CLAIMS HE'S BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN AWARD FOR HIS NEW SONG SUPER ANDY GUY? WELL WE HAVE A RECOEDING OF THIS AND WE WILL BE PKAING IT ON THE SHOW ON SAT.....BUT TONIGHT APPARANTLEY IT'S NOT ONE DIRECTION TO WATCH IT'S THE AWARDING WINNING ANDY??????
UPDATE.......
BUNTY TONIGHT IS AT THE BRIT AWARDS IN LONDON MIXING WITH ALL THE HIGH PROFILE CELEBS, SHE SAYS YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SPOT HER WITH HER CIGAR ON A TABLE WITH A TOP ARTIST, SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT HER. WE ALREADY HEAR SHE CAUSED CHAOS ARRIVING ON HER HORSE......
MORE.......
ANDY HAS SAID THAT HE IS READY TO BE THE NEW POPE IF HE IS NEEDED HE SAYS HE THINKS THAT HE WOULD BE IDEAL FOR THE JOB AND IS READY TO MOVE TO ITALY AS SOON AS HE GETS A CALL FROM RHE VATICAN.......WELL DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH ANDY......
MORE........
BUNYY SAYS EVERYONE SHOULD GROW THEIR OWN CIGARS, THE LONGER THEY STAY IN THE GROUND THE MORE MATURE THEY ARE AND SO THE TASTE. SHE BELIEVES THAT CIGAR ALLOTMENTS OR CIGAR PATCHES/ FIELDS SHOULD BE DESIGNATED IN CERTAIN AREAS. TO BE HONEST BUNTY THAT IDEA MAY WELL GO UP IN SMOKE!!!!!
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
MORE.........
MISERABLE ANDY BANGER SAYS THAT SCHOOL HOLIDAYS SHOULD BE BANNED!THIS COMES DURING THE CURRENT UK HALF TERM, HE SAYS KIDS ARE A NUISANCE AND BELONG IN SCHOOL .THEY SHOULD BE BUSY GETTING EDUCATED NOT HAVING HOLIDAYS ALL THE TIME GETTING BORED. STRONG WORDS ANDY, BUT WERE YOU NOT ONCE A CHILD? MAYBE NOT!......
MORE........
BANGERS LATEST VENTURE BIN LINERS.WE HEAR HE'S BEEN SELLING HIS NEW RANGE WITH THE BANGER LOGO ON THEM WE HOPE TO HAVE A PHOTO OF THEM LATER THIS WEEK, NO DOUBT WE WILL ALSO HAVE A LIST OF COMPLAINTS TOO......
BANGER FOGBOUND.......MORE
WELL ANDY WOULD THAT BE DUE TO THE WEATHER OR YOUR PIPE SMOKING????? HE CLAIMS IT WAS SO BAD THIS MORNING HE COULDN'T FIND BETTY.......DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 18 February 2013
MORE...........
YES WITH THE NATIONAL UNION OF JOURNALISTS GOING ON STRIKE TODAY CAUSING DISRUPTION TO SOME BBC SERVICES, NATURALLY BANGER ON HEARING THIS HAS DECIDED TO GO ON STRIKE HIMSELF.HE SAYS ALL OF BANGERS AIRLINES ARE GROUNDED, WELL THAT MEANS ONE AS THERE IS ONLY ONE, BANGERS BUSES AGAIN WE ONLY KNOW OF ONE HAS STOPPED RUNNING, AND EVEN BANGERS BOATS, HANG ON THOUGHT THEY HAD ALL SUNK SO CAN'T BE RUNNING. EHAT IS HIS MOTIVE FOR STRIKING THEN , HE'S ANSWER ? APPARANTLEY NOT ENOUGH BETTYS, DEAR O DEAR......
MORE........
THE LATEST VENTURE THAT BUNTY HAS TO START UP A BOARDING SCHOOL, BUT FOR HORSES. SHE SAYS ANY HORSE WILL BE ABLE TO STAY AND BE EDUCATED FOR AS LONG AS THEY WISH. THEY WILL LEARN HOW TO ENLOY A CIGAR AND TO DO ALL THE THINGS THEY CAN'T ELSEWHERE, SUCH AS WATCH TV GAVE A JACUZZI ETC. BUNTY HOPES TO START UP THE SCHOOL LATER THIS YEAR......
MORE..........
ITS UK FASHION WEEK, AND BANGER HAS BEEN WALKING AROUND TODAY DRESSED IN ? GUESS WHAT ? YES SAUSAGES QUESTION IS , IS IT JUST SAUSAGES? SURELY NOT THAT WOULD NOT COVER ALL HIS BODY. BANGER APPARANTLEY IS STARTING A NEW TREND HE SAYS THIS IS THE OUTFIT EVERYONE WILL BE WEARING THIS SUMMER, REALLY YOU MUST BE FREEZING IN THUS WEATHER, HYST WEARING SAUSAGES......DEAR O DEAR
Sunday, 17 February 2013
Friday, 15 February 2013
Thursday, 14 February 2013
MORE.........BASIL CLAIMS THAT THE WORLD NEXT MONTH WILL BE INVADED BY THE EASTER EGG?????
BASIL BANGER HAS PLEADED WITH THE WORLD TO BE READY TO ATTACK AS HE BELIEVES WE WILL BE INVADED BY EASTER EGGS AT THE END OF MARCH. NO TIME TO WASTE HE SAYS WE MUST TAKE COVER, HE HAS ALREADY STOCKPILED ON WEAPONS AND STANDING BY TO ATTACK WHAT HE CALLS THE ALIEN EASTER EGG. HE SAYS HE'S MISSION IS TO GET THE LEADER MR EGG HEAD......DEAR O DEAR , HE'S AS BAD AS HIS BROTHER
MORE........
WITH ANDY DUE TO TOUR AMERICA WITH FIRST LADY BETTY LATER THIS YEAR, HE'S NOW THINKING OF WRITING A BOOK CALLED ANDYS AMERICA. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE COUNTRY BUT CLAIMS THAT AMERICA IS HIS SECOND HOME, AND HIS FANS DESERVE A BOOK DEDICATED TO THEM..,,..DEAR O DEAR
MORE.........
YES WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT AFTER HEARING THAT ANDY THE MOVIE IS TO BE RELEASED, WE NOW HEAR HE ALSO COULD BE ON BROADWAY? BUT WHICH ONE ANDY DO YOU MEAN THE BROADWAY THEATRE? CANT IMAGINE YOU MEAN IN AMERICA, MAYBE HE'S DREAMING?.......
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
MORE...........
WE HEAR BUNTY ON HEARING THAT HORSE MEAT HAS BEEN FOUND IN FOODS ON THE UK HAS BANNED CONDOR, MANIKIN AND HAMLET FROM WATCHING THE NEWS AS SHE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO GET UPSET. BUNTY SAID ALL THREE WERE ACTING VERY STRANGE SO THEY MUST HAVE HEARD SOMETHING.....DEAR O DEAR
MORE........
YES ANDY WILL BE WHISPERING THOSE THREE SPECIAL WORDS TO BETTY ON VALENTINES DAY , AND THOSE THREE WORDS ARE I LOVE SAUSAGES...DEAR O DEAR....POOR BETTY
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
MORE.................
YES BUNTY IS INVITING YOU TO MEET HER BACKSTAGE AFTER ONE OF HER PYSCHIC FARES, SHE SAYS ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO MEET PEOPLE AND HAVE A CIGAR MOMENT, WE DONT KNOW WEHN BUNTY WILL BE NEXT DOING A PSYCHIC FAYRE BUT IT WILL MOST PROBABLY BE ON A THURSDAY......DEAR O DEAR
MORE..............
ITS PANCAKE DAY, AND ANDY HAS BEEN OUT AND ABOUT TOSSING HIS OWN PANCAKES AND WHILST FLIPPING THEM IN THE AIR ONE LANDED ON A MANS HEAD. ANDY SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT(ALWAYS IS ANDY) ANYWAY HE CLAIMS HE IS CHIEF TOSSER.............. 
Monday, 11 February 2013
MORE.........
THATS RIGHT BUNTYS BEGINNERS, IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T TRIED YOUR VERY FIRST CIGAR, THEN ALLOW BUNTY YO TAKE YOU UNDER HER WING WITH AN INTENSIVE COURSE YOU'LL BE SMOKING WITH 2 HOURS. BUBTY BELIEVES EVERYONE NEEDS TO SMOKE A CIGAR WHETHER IT BE FOR BREAKFAST, A SNACK, DINNER OR SUPPER.ALL BEGINNERS NEED TO ENROL ASAP.......
MORE........
YES WOULD YOU BELIEVE WOULD LIKE TO BECOME LORD VERULAM, HE SAYS HE THINKS HE DESERVES THE TITLE AND WOULD LIKE TO BE LORD OF BOTH THE TOWN & STATION. THERES ONLY OBE THING UOU ARE LORD OF BANGER AND THAT'S SAUSAGES........
Thursday, 7 February 2013
BREAKING......................STATEMENT RELEASED FROM DARRELL ANDREWS OF SAT SUPREME..............
MORE.................
MORE...............
YES ANDY HAS OPENED A TAKE AWAY STALL IN ST ALBANS SELLING NOODLES FOR CHINESE NEW YEAR , CASHING IN ON THE CHINESE NEW YEAR. WE HEAR THOUGH HIS NOODLES DONT TASTE LIKE NOODLES AND THERE HAVE BEEN SCORES OF COMPLAINTS..............
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
MORE...........
MORE........
SEEMS THAT BUNTYS TURNING CHINESE TOO THIS WEEKEND, SHE'S PLANNING ON HAVING A CHINESE NEW YEARS PARTY AT HER MANSION BUT YOU HAVE TO BE CHINESE TO ATTEND, AND HAVE A CIGAR. THERE WILL BE INDOOR CHINESE FIREWORKS AND LOTS OF APPROPIATE MUSIC TOO, OH AND IF YOU HAVE A HORSE THEY ARE INVITED AS WELL........
MORE.........
ITS CHINESE ANDY, YES ANDY IS GOING ALL CHINESE FOR THE CHINESE NEW YEAR THIS WEEKEND.HE IS CELEBRATING BY WALKING AROUND ST ALBANS DRESSED UP IN CHINESE CLOTHES HANDING OUT CHOPSTICKS TO PEOPLE? WE HEAR HE'S ALSO BEEN ATTEMPTING TO TALK TO PEOPLE IN CHINESE......DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
UPDATE.........
VERA THE CLEANER HAS COME UNDER FIRE, THIS TIME FROM THE STATION MANAGEMENT. VERA HAD TO TAKE LEAVE FROM AFTER BEING TRAUMATISED BY FINDINGS IN THE LOO. THE MANAGEMENT HAVE SAID THE PLACE HASN'T BEEN CLEANED FOR MONTHS AND US UNACEPTABLE , AND SHE SHOULD EITHER NOW RETURN OR LEAVE ......
MORE..........
YES, ANDY SAYS FORGET ALL THE PANCAKES, HOW ABOUT A NATIONAL SAUSAGE DAY AND ON THE DAY HE SAID WR WILL HAVE A SAUSAGE RACE. ABANDON ALL PANCAKES HE SAID AND REJOICE IN THE SAUSAGE.......,DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 4 February 2013
MORE........
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT ANDY CLAIMS THAT HE ONCE WAS A PROFESSOR, BUT WITH A DIFFERENCE. WE KNOW HE STUDIED AT OXFORD UNIVERSITY BUT IT SEEMS THAT HE HAS A DEGREE & BHD IN ONE SUBJECT ONLY, YES HE IS A PROFESSOR OF SAUSAGES.......
MORE.........
BUNTY IS OFFERING SHORT BREAKS FOR COUPLES , YES WE HEAR A CIGAR WEEKEND FOR TWO IN THE STABLES OF YOUR CHOICE IS BEING OFFERED, DEAR O DEAR.
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