Tuesday, 31 December 2013
BREAKING ......... BANGER REFLECTS ON THE THE YEAR
WE HEAR ANDY HAS BEEN REFLECTING ON 2013 SAYING THAT HE HAS HAD A MOMENTOUS YEAR SAYING HE'S HAD RECORD GAINS ON HIS VENTURES AND SUCCESS WITH HIS MOGGY MINOR SALES? I WANT TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THANK BETTY HE SAID AND ALL THOSE WHO ADORE ME AND LOOK FORWARD TO A NEW YEAR AS A SIR, AND I EXPECT HE SAID TO CHAUFFEURED VY BARNWELL TO THE STUDIOS EVERY SATURDAY NOW AND MR STAINES TO TAKE ME HOME , MEANWHILE MR HALL CAN BOOK MY APPTS AS WELL......... DEAR O DEAR
MORE...........BANGER KNIGHTED
BUNTY IS FUMING OVER REPORTS THAT ANDY HAS BEEN KNIGHTED BY THE QUEEN IN THE NEW YEARS HONOURS TO BECOME SIR ANDY BANGER . WE HEr BUNTY SHUNNED BY THE HONOURS BUT ANDY SAYS HE'S HONOURED TO HAVE GAINED A TITLE AND SAID COMMISERATIONS TO BUNTY, AT LAST HE SAID IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME AND THANKED MR STAINES FOR VOTING FOR HIM???? REMEMBER THESE ARE UNCONFIRMED REPORTS
Monday, 30 December 2013
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Thursday, 19 December 2013
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YES BUNTY IS EXPECTING TO BE ON THE NEW YEARS HONOURS LIST FOR HER WORK ON GETTING PEOPLE TO SMOKE MORE CIGARS. BUNTY HAILED THE QUEEN OF CIGARS SAYS IT WILL COME AS NO SURPRISE TO GET A CALL TO BE HONOURED IF I CAN MAKE IT I WILL SHE SAID......................
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APPARANTLEY BETTY HAS BEEN TOLD BY ANDY TO DRESS UP AS HES REINDEER FOR HIS BANGER GROTTO. WITNESSES REPORT HIM RIDING AROUND ON BETTYS BACK SHOUTING GIDDY UP BETTY REINDEER, HO HO HO. BETTY ALSO HAS BEEN SEES WITH A BIG RED NOSE
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HEAR XMAS EVE IS TRADITTIONAL IN THE BANGERS HOUSE. BETTY SMOKES A PIPE, ANDY DECORATES THE TREE WITH SAUSAGES AND BERTY PLAYS WITH HIS TEETH..............LATER IN THE EVENING ANDY PLAYS SOME OLD VINATAGE CLASSICS ON HIS GRAMAPHONE FOR A SING ALONG...................
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YES A BREATHTAKING CHRISTMAS WITH BUNTY, SHE WOULD LIKE US TO ALL BREATHE IN THEN PUFF ONA CIGAR AND BREATHE OUT, ITS IDEAL FOR LONG TERM AND NEW USERS OF CIGARS SHE SAID, AND GO MADE THIS CHRISTMAS SMOKE A COLUMBIAN KING SI
ZE......................
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
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YES BUNTY HAS SPOKEN OUT ABOUT HER DISTANT BROTHER SAYING ANDY HAS ALWAYS BEEN DISTURBED AND GAD TO BE FIRST FOR EVERYTHING WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER SHE SAYS THAT HE WOULD TORMENT THE ELDERLY AND ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FIRST FOR EVERYTHING, FOR EXAMPLE HE WOULD ALWAYS RACE TO BE FIRST AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE BANGING HIS SPOON DECLARING HE'S THE WINNER BEATING BUNTY ...,,,,...DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
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YES CAN YOU IMAGINE MOTHER AND FATHER XMAS? WHERE THIS IDEA CAME FROM WE DON'T KNOW BUT ANDY AND BETTY HAVE GOT IT ALL TAKEN CARE OF FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO VISIT MR AND MRS CLAUS .......
Monday, 16 December 2013
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BUNTY FEVER ISSWEEPING HERTS, APPARANTLEY WHEREVER BUNTY GOES HER FOLLOWERS DO TO, SHE CAME OUT OF A VILLAGE HALL YESTERDAY AND THERE WERE LOTS OF PEOPLE YOUNG AND OLD STANDING THERE CHEERING PUFFING ON CIGARS AND CHEERING WE LOVE YOU BUNTY. SEEMS SHES A LOCAL CELEB, BUNTY SAID I KNOW THEY LOVE ME, ILL SMOKE TO THAT .......................
BREAKING...............................BARNWELL GETS CALL FROM BANGER
WE HEAR BARNWELL RECIEVED A TELEPHONE CALL TODAY FROM ANDY TELLING HIM TO GO AND SEE HIMA IN A CHRISTMAS PANTO HES APPEARING AT THE BOGNOR THEATRE. APPARANTLEY HES PLAYING ONE OF THE UGLY SISTERS. LATER HE RECIEVED A CALL FROM BUNTY TO TELL HIM TO GO AND SEE HER IN BARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING IN LONDON........................DEAR O DEAR
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WE HEAR BANGER HAS BEEN WE HEAR SCARING THE LITTLE CHILDREN AND EVEN ELDERLY AS THEY ENTER HIS GROTTY GROTTO. WE HEAR TRHAT CILDREN WERE IN TEARS AS HE SHOUTED AT THEM TO NOT BE SO UNGRATEFUL WHEN THEY WERE DISSAPOINTED. EVEN ONE ELDERLY LADY LEFT IN TEARS WHEN SHE SAID SHE DIDNT WANT A PIPE FOR XMAS....................
GRUMPY BANGER BELOW
Thursday, 12 December 2013
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BUNTY SAYS HER OWN BRAND OF BUNTYS BAUBLES WILL BE AVAILABLE SOON, THESE ARE ONES WITH CIGARS ON , THEY WILL BE THE ULTIMATE XMAS DECORATION SHE SAYS YOU CAN WEAR THEM , OR HANG THEM UP , THE LIMITED CIGAR EDITION WILL BE YOUR LOCAL SHOPS SHORTLY.........................
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WE HEAR THE LATEST PRODCY BANGER IS SELLING IS AIRCONS. YES AURCONS FOR THE OFFICES, CARS , INFACT EVERYWHERE. SOME UNLUCKY PEOPLE AFTER BUYING THESE HAVE REPORTED PIPE SMOKE SMELL OOZING FROM THE HEATERS SO BEWARE..................
SPECIAL REPORT...........................FROM STEVEN HALL
STEVE TELLS US THAT BANGER HAS TOLD HIM THAT HE WILL AT BARNWELLS ON XMAS DAY AT 2PM FOR DINNER AND EXPECTS A PRESENT TOO. ASLO IN A SEPERATE DEVELOEPMENT BUNTY HAS NOW INVITED BARNWELL, STEVE & DERECK FOR XMAS DINNER AND TOLD THEM TO FORGET ABOUT ANDY AND LOCK UP AND JUST GO TO HERS........................THANKS STEVE
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WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT BANGER HAD THE ARROGANCE TO TRY AND DIVERT PLANES TO BANGER INTERNATIONAL BECAUSE IT WAS DEEMED TO INSAFE TO LAND FOR MANY FLIGHTS DURING THE FOG. WE HEARD THAT PLANES WERE CIRCLING FOR HOURS NOT SURE WHERE TO GO AFTER BANGER GOT HIS FRIEND ON THE AVIATION FRONT TO DIRECT THEM. SEVERAL NEAR MISSES WERE REPORTED THANKS TO BANGERS STUPIDITY.......................
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
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YES WOULD YOU FANCY A VISIT TO BANGERS WINTER WONDERLAND?? A LAND OF SAUSAGES, BETTYS, AND PIPES. THE FUN AWAITS YOU AND ALL THE FAMILY THIS CHRISTMAS A XMAS WISH COME TRUE SAYS BANGER!!..........................
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YES BUNTY SAYS SHE WILL BE IN A CHRISTMAS PANTO CALLED HARK THE HERALD BUNTY SING. APPARANTLEY RAMBO WILL ALSO BE APPEARING TOO HENCE THE BARK IN THE TITLE........................ON STAGE THIS CHRISTMAS.................
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
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BANGERS GROTTO , WELL WE HEAR HE HAS ONE FOR THE ELDERLY AND ONE FOR THE YOUNG EACH RECIPIENT THAT ENTERS HIS GROTTOS WILL RECIEVE A LOVELY XMAS GIFT AND A PIPE. EVEN ELDERLY CITIZENS WILL GET TO SIT ON BANGERS KNEE BEFORE RECIEVING A BANGER PRESENT, SOUNDS TERRIFYING DOSENT IT ? WE WILL KEEP YOU INFORMED.........
Monday, 9 December 2013
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BUNTYS B C P YES BIG CIGAR PLAN , WE HEAR SHE HAS A BIG CAMPAIGN IN MIND FOR THE NEW YEAR , SHE WANTS TO GET MORE PEOPLE CIGAR SMOKING OF ALL AGES . SOUNDS LIKE 2014 WILL BE QUITE A YEAR BUNTY........
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YES THE BDA BANGER DARTS ASSOC. WE DUDBT KNOW ANDY COULD PLAY DARTS INFACT WHEN YOU IMAGINE IT BANGER COULD BE LETHAL WITH A DART IN HIS HAND. WE HEAR THAT RECENTLY WHEN HE PLAYED IN A LOCAL DARTS CLUB AND 180 WAS ANNOUNCED HE SHOUTED IM NOT THAT OLD......DEAR O DEAR
Sunday, 8 December 2013
Thursday, 5 December 2013
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WE HEAR BETTY WAS ALMOST BLOWN AWAY TODAY WHILSY PUTTING THE SMALLS ON THE LINE. THE WIND WAS SO STRONG THAT SHE NEARLY TOOK OFF ANDY HE SAID, I HAD TO GRAB ON TO HER BLOOMERS TO PULL HER BACK DOWN.............................DEAR O DEAR
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BANGER PHONED BARNWELL TONIGHT AND SAID TO AVOID ANY CONFUSION THIS YEAR HE AND BETTY WILL BE GALD TO ATTEND XMAS DINNER AT HIS HOUSE ON XMAS DAY. HE EVEN TOLD BARNWELL TO BE READY FOR HIM AND BETTY AND HAVE THE DINNER ON THE TABLE AT 2PM AND HE WILL BRING A BROADCAST OF BETTYS SPEECH SO THEY CAN ALL WATCH IT TOGETHER.........................
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WE HEAR BECAUSE BUNTY HAS SAUD SHES DREAMING OF A CIGAR CHRISTMAS, WELL SURPRISE SURPRISE, BANGERS DREAMING OF A PIPE CRISTMAS. HE SAID THAT HE WILL BE DRESSING UP AS SANTA WITH A PIPE VISITING CHILDREN AND GIVING THEM PIPES FOR CHRISTMAS....................DEAR O DEAR
BREAKING......................BERTY BIG TEETH TOOTHBRUSH?????
BERTY APPARANTLEY HAS TO USE A TOOTHBRUSH THATS NEARLY AS BIG AS HIM WE HEAR COS HIS TEETH ARE SO BIG ........................SEE BELOW
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BUNTY IS DREAMIN OF A CIGAR CHRISTMAS, SHE SAYS SHE WOULD LIKE TO BE SURROUNDED BY CIGARS . I LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN HAVING A CIGAR CONTINOUSLY ALIGHT ALL OVER XMAS. I REGULARLY LEAVE ONE BESIDE MY HEAD SO I CAN PUFF AWAY IF I AWAKE SHE SAYS..,..........
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
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YES WE ALSO HEAR THE ROYAL BUNTY PERFORMANCE WILL TAKE PLACE BEFORE THE QUEEN. ACTS SUCH AS HORSES WITH CIGARS, SMOKING RAMBO, AND SMOKEY BACON ARE ALL ON THE SCHEDULE.....................WE WILL HAVE IDS BY BOTH ANDY AND BUNTY ON THIS WEEKS SHOW OF THE FORTHCOMING ATTRACTIONS...............
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
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YES NOT THE ROYAL VARIETY VARIETY PERFORMANC, BUT THE ROYAL BANGER PERFORMANCE. HE SAYS THIS WILL TAKE PLACE IN PRESENCE OF ROYAL FAMILY SOON.......ACTS LIKE BUNJY JUMPING BETTY, JUGGLING WITH SAUSAGES, AND BOUNCING BRUISER....................
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YRS BUNTY SAYS HER PERFECT WISH THIS XMAS THIS YEAR WOULD BE TO HAVE A CIGAR WONDERLAND. THATS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHES DONE PUT ALL HER CIGARS IN TO ONE ROOM SO THAT SHE COULD BE IN PARADISE.............................
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WE ARE GETTING REPORTS THAT BANGER IS SELLING FAKE XMAS TREES AND DECORATIONS. WE HEAR THAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOOLED IN TO BELIEVING THESE ARE REAL ALTHOUGH LOOKING AT THEM YOU CAN SEE THEY ARE NOT. ONE EXPLODED IN ONE HOUSE, AND DECORATIONS ALSO THAT WERE PUT UP HAD A VERY PECULIAR SMELL TO THEM..............................BEWARE DO NOT RUIN YOUR CHRISTMAS........................
Monday, 2 December 2013
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WE HEAR THAT BRUISER HAS A BRUISED EGO AFTER HAVING A SCARE WITH RAMBO THE DO IN THE STUDIO ON SATS SHOW. ANDY IS PLAYING IT DOWN BUT WE HAVE LEARNT THAT HES NOT THAT FOND OF DOGS ESPECIALLY RAMBO...................WELL!!!
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YES BUNTY IN RESPONSE TO ANDYS REPORTING TO OF RAMBO HAS REPORTED HIM TO THE SOCIETY OF PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO ANIMALS. HE DOES NOT TREAT RAMBO RIGHT AND HAS A DEEP DISLIKE FOR HIM SHE SAYS AND SHOULD BE LOCKED UP ....................
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YES BANGER HAS REPORTED RAMBO FOR A SECOND TIME TO THE ENVIRONMENT AUTHORITY SAYING HE IS A MENACE AND SHOULD BE PUT AWAY. HES NOT SAFE AND DANGEROUS...................
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WE HEAR ANDYS BANGER BISCUIT SELECTION WILL BE AVAILABLE, THIS YEAR, YES BUT OF THE SAUSAGE VARIETY. BE PREPARED FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS TO GET A SHOCK...........................
Sunday, 1 December 2013
HERTS ON WEATHER WATCH ......................... FOR WINTRY WEATHER THIS WEEK...........................
WATCH FOR UPDATES.........................
Thursday, 28 November 2013
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BANGERS WINTER WARMERS, YES A LEG WARMER FOR THE MOR MATURE SAYS BANGER, YOU CAN FEEL STYLISH AND WARM AND ALSO VERY MUCH WARMER IN THESE STYLISH WINTEER WARMERS IN YOUR SHOPS SOON,THEY WILL MAKE YOU STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD, WELL YES THATS TRUE............................
ANDYS ANCESTORS.............................THE ALBUM
ANDYS GRANDMOTHER.....................................
ANDYS GRANDAD..............................
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WE HEAR THAT ANDY HAS HITR BACK AT BUNTY SAYING THAT SHE SHOULD BE KEPT ON A LEAD, HE SAID SHE LIVES IN A FANTASY WORLD, WITH HER CRYSTAL BALL, HE ALSO SAID HES LOOKING IN TO GETTING A DOG AS WELL NOW................................
Wednesday, 27 November 2013
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ARE YOU BORN THE BUNTY WAY? WELL IF YOU ARE YOU'LL HAVE BEEN BORN WITH A BIG LIKE FOR HORSE AND OF COURSE A PASSION FOR CIGARS . INFACT BUNTY SAYS SHE WOULD LIJE MORE BABIES TO BE BROUGHT UP ON CIGARS ......... DEAR O DEAR
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YES A BETTY BROADCAST , ANDY PLANS ON CHRISTMAS DAY INSTEAD OF HAVING THE QUEENS MESSAGE , HE WANTS TO HAVE A BETTY BROADCAST TO THE COMMONWEALTH. GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT SHE WILL SAY WE CSN ONLY WAIT IN ANTICIPATION ........
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WE HAVE OBTAINED PHOTOS OF ANDYS DISTANT ANCESTORS WE WILL HAVE PHOTOS OF THESE PECULIAR BEINGS TOMORROW.......
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
BREAKING .......... BUNTY HITS BACK !!!!
YES AFTER REPORTS THAT BUNTY HAS BEEN TOLD TO RAMBO UNDER CONTROL, WE HEAR BUNTY HAS HIT BACK SAYING THAT IT'S ANDY THAT SHOULD BE KEPT ON A LEAD AND WEAR A NOZZLE ........
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YES WE HEAR BRUISER HAS HAD HIS FIRST CLOSE CONFRONTATION WITH A FAN WHILST PROTECTING ANDY , YES IT WAS BETTY WHILST ANDY WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM BETTY WALK PASSED HIM AND BRUISER STEPPED IN AND SAID DON'T GET TOO CLOSE PLEASE...,,.,,,DEAR O DEAR HAS NO ONE TOLD HIM THEY ARE MARRIED RELAX BRUISER
Monday, 25 November 2013
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YES ANDYS GOT A NEW VENTURE IN MIND LEARN TO COOJ TGE BANGER WAY , INFACT THE SAUSAGE WAY AS ITS A SCHOOL LITERALLY FOR BSNGERS , YES LEARN TO COOK BANGERS AT THE THE SCHOOL OF BANGERS...........MORE WHEN WE GET IT
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BANGERS BREAKFASTS, YES YOU CAN EXPECT MAYBE A FULL ENGLISH, NO WRONG YOU'LL GET A FULL PLATE OF BANGERS ONLY . AS WELL AS A SAUSAGE SANDWICH , INFACT SO MANY SAUSAGES THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY LOSE THE TASTE FOR THEM. BANGERS BREAKFASTS TRY ONE TODAY .......
Thursday, 21 November 2013
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YES BANGERS GOT A BALD SPOT APPARANTLEY ,OR SO HE TELLS US, BUT WE DONT WANT TO KNOW WHERE AND HOW EITHER, THANK YOU!!!!!
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