Tuesday, 31 January 2012
BREAKING.........,ANDY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF COLD WEATHER
ANDY BANGER HAS BEEN SELLING DODGY SCARFS AND GLOVES WITH THE ONSET OF THE COLD WEATHER. WE HEAR THERE HAS BEEN SURGE OF PEOPLE COMPLAINING OF BREAKING OUT IN RASHES AND ITCHINESS . ONE WOMAN SAID I PUT THE SCARF ON AND MY NECK TURNED YELLOW, ANOTHER SAID I COULDN'T GET THE GLOVES OFF THEY WERE STUCK TO MY SKIN. WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT THE PUBLIC DO NOT BUY ANY OF THESE ITEMS WHICH HE IS SELLING.......
LATEST........ANDY TO GET BONUS
WOULD YOU BELIEVE ANDY BANGER HAS AWARDED HIMSELF A MASSIVE COMPANY BONUS WHICH HE SAYS IS WELL DESERVED. HE THANKED THE BOARD FOR AWARDING HIM FOR HIS HARD WORK WITH HIS VENTURES SAYING GE COULDN'T REALLY ACCEPT IT BUY WOULD .SAT SUPREME CAN REVEAL THAT THERE IS NO BOARD WE THINK HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE IRONING BOARD AND HAS GIVEN HIMSELF A BONUS GREEDY BANGER
Thursday, 26 January 2012
DEVELOPING.......................ANDY HITS BACK AT CHARLIE
ANDY TONIGHT HAS SAID HE DID NOT TAKE CAHRLIE THE CARETAKERS KEYS LAST WEEKS AND HAS ACCUSED CHARLIE OF MAKING FALSE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST HIM...HE EVEN SAID CHARLIEIF HES NOT CAREFUL, WOULD BE THE NEXT LARRY IN THE RING........
BREAKING........................CHAS LOSES HIS KEYS
CHARLIE THE CARETAKER HAS TOLD SAT SUPREME HE HAS LOST HIS KEYS, ANOTHER COMPLICATION FOR THE WEEKEND, HES BEEN SEARCHING FURIOUSLY TO FIND THEM AND BELIEVES BANGER MAY HAVE TAKEN THEM THE WEEKEND.............
BREAKING.....................BUNTY TO BUY A RACECOURSE
WE HEAR THAT BUNTY IS LOOKING TO BUY A RACECOURSE, SO HER HORSES OR BOYS AS SHE CALLS THEM CAN HAVE A RUN WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT AS WELL AS TRAIN FOR THE UPCOMING OLYMPICS..............
LATEST.....................CONFIRMED
ANDY AND BUNTY HAVE TOLD SAT SUPREME THEY ARE GOING TO A MUSEUM INSTEAD OF COMING IN TO THE SHOW.......
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
LATEST..........ANDY & BUNTY BOTH CALL BARNWELL AGAIN
WE HEAR BOTH ANDY & BUNTY AGAIN CALLED BARNWELL AT WORK DEMANDING TO BORROW HIS CAR AS ANDYS MOGGY MINOR BROKE DOWN. STEVEN HALL FROM THE ANDY HOUR WAS ALSO GETTING HARRASSMENT CALLS AS WELL, WE ALSO HEAR ANDY IS SEARCHING FOR DERECK STAINES NUMBER AS WELL. WE HEAR HE HAS BEEN OFFERING TO GIVE PEOPLE MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR INFORMATION....DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
BREAKING............ANDY REQUESTS THE QUEEN FOR DINNER
ANDY HAS INVITED HER MAJESTY TO DINNER AT THE BANGER RESIDENCE ON SUNDAY ANDY IS APPARANTLEY FUMING WITH BARNWELL MR STAINES AND MR HALL FOR NOT TURNING UP AGAIN FOR THE SECOND CHRISTMAS DINNER LAST SUNDAY. HE SAID WE WILL NOT ALLOW ANOTHER TURKEY TO GO TO WASTE SO WE HAVE INVITED THE QUEEN. WE WILL ALSO BE HAVING VEGETABLES FROM CHRISTMAS DAY AND COLD XMAS PUDDING.........DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 23 January 2012
BREAKING.........BANGERS TO OPEN THEIR DOORS FOR THEIR OWN RESIDENCE WEEKEND
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT HES GONE AND DONE IT AGAIN ANDY IN A BID TO OVERSHADOW THE RADIO VERULAM RESIDENTS FIRST WEEKEND EVENT HAS SAID THAT HE AND BETTY WILL BE OPENING THE DOORS OF THE BANGERS RESIDENCE THIS WEEKEND YO THE PUBLIC TO HAVE WHAT HE CALLED YHE BANGERS FIRST EESIDENCE WEEKEND. HE URGED THE RESIDENTS OF ST ALBANS TO GIVE THE RADIO VERULAM EVENTS MISS SAID THAT THERE WAS MORE TO SEE FOR AN INTERESTING DAY OUT AT HIS MANSION AND FIELD.........DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE................
WE HEAR THAT ANDY HAS SAID HE WILL RUN FOF POSITION OF MAYOR OF LONDON AGAINST KEN LIVINGSTONE AND BORIS JOHNSON, ANDY SAYS HE WILL GET THE MOST VOTES AND SAYS HE WILL CHANGE LONDON FOR THE BETTER WITH MORE BETTYS AND BETTER TRANSPORT WITH BANGERS BUSES AND BANGERS RAILWAYS......WELL LET'S HOPE HE DOESN'T GET IN THEN, IT WOULD MEAN DISASTER
Thursday, 19 January 2012
LATEST..............DR ANDY WILL SEE YOU NOW
WITH THE THREAT OD UK DEOCTORS GOING ON STRIKE, ANDY SAYS HES SURGERY WILL ALWAYS BE OPEN...HE SAID HE PLANS TO OPEN FOR LONGER SURGERY HOURS IF THE STRIKE GOES AHEAD AND SAYS HE WILL BE ON EMERGENCY CALL OUT AS WELL. ANDY CLAIMS HE CAN DIAGNOSE ANY MEDICAL PROBLEM............DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE............
WE HEAR THAT ANDY IS FACING RENEWED PHONE HACKING ALLEGATIONS , OF WHICH HE NATURALLY DENIES. ONE ELDERLT WOMAN SAID I WAS ORDERING MY MEALS ON WHEELS SERVICE WHEN I HEARD ..NO THIS IS ANDY BANGGER CAN I GET YOU SAUSAGES FOR YOUR LUNCH TODAY, ANDY HAS BLAMED THE ALLEGATIONS ON STEVEN HALL FROM THE ANDY HOUR, WHO HAS YET TO COMMENT........
VERULAM IS AT WAR?????? WITH BASIL APPARNTLEY !!!!! BASIL TO AGAIN COME TO STUDIOS THIS WEEKEND....................
WE ARE HEARING THAT BASIL BANGER WILL BE HEADING FOR THE VERULAM STUDIOS THIS WEEKEND. AGAIN SECURITY EXPECTED TO BE TIGHTENED AS ONCE AGAIN WE HEAR HES EXPECTED TO BE ARMED, SAT SUPREME HAS ALREADY WARNED BASIL NOT TO ENTER THE BUILDING WITH ANYTHING THAT COULD HARM OR INJURE THE STAFF AT THE STATION, WE HERA IN RESPONSE BAIL DECLARED WAR ON VERULAM...............
LATEST..................ANDY SAYS SAUSAGES ARE IN RECESSION
ANDY HAS TOLD US THAT SAUSAGES ARE IN RECESSION AND HE FEARS FOR THE BANGER IN 2012, MANY SAUSAGES ARE FEELING THE CRUNCH HE SAID, BUT WORSE COULD BE ON THE WAY AND HE WARNED THAT WE MAY WELL JUST HAVE SKIN WITH NO MEAT BY END OF THE YEAR..DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE...................
BUNTY SAYS HER IDEAL MAN WOULD LOOK LIKE A HORSE HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE SIMILAR FEATURES, TEETH, NOSE STRUCTURE AND EARS TO APPEAL TO HER AND OF COURSE HAVE A LOVE FOR CIGARS.........
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
BREAKING................BASIL THREATENS TO ATTACK EVERYONE
SAT SUPREME HAS LEARNED THAT BASIL IS GOING TO STEP UP HIS CAMPAIGN ON ATTACKING EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE SAT SUPREME ANDY HOUR TEAM. ANDY HAS TOLD SAT SUPREME TONIGHT HE HAS CREDIBLE INFORMATION THAT BASIL IS TO STEP UP HIS ATTACKS ON THE VERULAM TOWERS ON SAT............MORE NEWS WHEN WE GET IT ON THIS DEVELOPMENT...
LATEST.......BETTY PUTS ON ANOTHER TURKEY
UNBELIEVABELY WE HEAR THAT FOLLOWING THE ABSENCY OF DERECK, STEVEN AND DARREL AT THE CHRISTMAS DINNER TABLE ON CHRISTMAS DAY, ANDY HAS SAID BETTY HAS STARTED COOKING ANOTHER TURKEY FOR DINNER THIS COMING SUNDAY AND ANDY SAYS HE WANTS NO EXCUSES THIS TIME FROM MR STAINES MR HALL AND BARNWELL, IT WILL BE LIKE OUR SECOND CHRISTMAS HE SAID......WHEN IS HE GOING TO GET THE MESSAGE.....DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 16 January 2012
LATEST........ANDY SAYS TURKEY STILL IN OVEN
ANDY SAYS BETTY AND HE ARE STILL WAITING FOR MR STAINES MR HALL AND BARNWELL TO TURN UP FOR XMAS DINNER NEARLY A MONTH ON. HE SAID BETTY SAID MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE UP NOW, BUT ANDY SAYS NO GIVE THEM ANOTHER 20 MINUTES OR SO...,,....DEAR O DEAR
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Thursday, 12 January 2012
LATEST.............SAT SUPREME WARNED TO BE ON GUARD OVER THREATENED ATTACK FROM BASIL....,,,,
WE HEAR THAT SECURITY IS TO BE STEPPED UP THIS SATURDAY AT VERULAM STUDIOS AS THE SAT SUPREME TEAM FEAR AN ALL OUT ATTACK FROM BASIL BANGER...SOURCES TELL US HE PLANS TO COME IN ARMED WITH SHERBERT BOMBS AND WATER PISTOLS BECUASE BASIL HIMSELF IS FEARING AN ATTACK ......MANAGEMENT OF THE STATION, SAY THE SHOW WILL GO AHEAD BUT SECURITY AND SAFETY OF OUR STAFF IS PARAMOUNT.........
BREAKING.......ANDYS NEW CAR JET WASH COMPANY LAUNCHED..............BUT COMPLAINTS ROLL IN!!!
THIS WEEK ANDY LAUNCHED HIS NEW CAR JET WASHING COMPANY BUT DRIVERS WERE KEFT REELING AFTER HAVING ONE OF ANDYS WASHES WHEN THEY DROVE AWAY COVERED STILL COVERED IN FOAM. ANDY INSISTS HIS CAR WASH FOAM IS THE BEST BUT HUNDREDS OF MOTORISTS CLAIM THE FOAM WONT COME OFF AND SOME SAY THEIR CARS ARE PERMANATLRY DAMAGED AND SMEARED AND SOME REPORT THE FOAM HAS DAMAGED THEIR ENGINES ............DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
BREAKING................BASIL TO VISIT STUDIO AGAIN ARMED
SAT SUPREME IS HEARING THAT BASIL BANGER WILL MAKE ANOTHER VIST TO THE THE STUDIO AGAIN IN AN ATTEMPT TO WIPE OUT THE ENEMY, HE SAID THE OPPOSITION MEANING BARNWELL, DERECK AND STEVE SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR INVASION AND ALL OUT ATTACK ............DEAR O DEAR
LATEST........MPS VISIT ANDYS OLYMPIC PARK
WE HEAR THAT SOME MPS VISITED ANDYS OLYMPIC FIELD TODAY AND WERE AMAZED WHEN THEY WERE SHOWED WHERE THE MAIN EVENTS OF WERE GOING TO BE HELD ...IN A DITCH, WE HEAR SOME MPS IMMEDIATELY LEFT AFTER SEEING THIS........
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
LATEST.........BUNTY TAKES HER HORSES FOR MAKEOVER
BUNTY WE HEAR HAS TAKEN CONDOR HAMLET AND MANAKIN FOR MAKEOVERS, WE HEAR THEY ALL HAD A HAIRCUT THEIR HOOVES DONE AND ALSO TEETH CLEANED PLUS A GOOD GROOMING. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THEY SLSO HAD A SAUNA AS WELL THEY ENJOYED A LUXURY CIGAR TOGETHER AS A TREAT TO THE END OF A PERFECT DAY...... WE TOLD HER YOU DO SPOIL THEM BUNTY SHE REPLIED WELL THEY ARE MY CHILDREN, MY BOYS WHAT DO YOU EXPECT....
UPDATE.........
WE HEAR THAT FOLLOWING THE VISIT TO THE OLYMPIC STADIUM BY MPS THIS WEEK? ANDY IN A BID ONCE AGAIN TO OVER SHADOW THE HEADLINES HAS INVITED ALL MPS TO VISIT WHAT HE CALLS HE'S OLYMPIC STADIUM HE'S FIELD BASICALLY, WHERE HE CLAIMS THE TRUE OLYMPIC GAMES WILL BE HELD. HES ASKED THOUGH THAT ONLY SMALL GROUPS OF MPS ENTER HIS FIELD AT A TIME SO BETTY CAN SHOW THEM ROUND.......DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 9 January 2012
LATEST,,,,,,,,BAISIL MAKES DEBUT ON LAST WEEKS SHOW
BASIL BANGER MADE IT YO THE DHOW ON SAT OR AT LEAST TK THE STUDIO DOORS AS HE FEATED AN ATTACK. HE WAS CONVINCED THAT DARRELL DERECK AND STEVE WERE ARMED APPARANTLEY AFTERWARDS HE FLED OUT OF THE BUILDING RUNNING FOR COVER.....DEAR O DEAR
Thursday, 5 January 2012
DEVELOPING......ANDY LAUNCHES EMERGENCY WINDOW CLEANING SERVICE
WE HEAR ANDY HAS LAUNCHED HIS EMERGENCY WINDOW CLEANING COMPANY, WHICH GARUANTEES TO MAKE YOUR WINDOWS CLEANER AND CLEARER THAN EVER. SO WHY ALREADY ARE THE COMPLAINTS ARE COMING IN. ONE PERSON SAID I REQUESTED A WINDOW CLEAN AND THIS MAN TURNED UP WITH A PIPE, HE LOOKED REALLY WIERD AND HIS LADDER WAS SO SMALL I OFFERED MINE BUT HE INSISETED HE USED HIS OWN. WELL HE COULD BARELY REACH THE WINDOWS AND THE WINDOWS WERE DIRTIER THAN WHEN HE STARTED...ANOTHER LADY SAID ILL NEVER USE HIM AGAIN AT LEAST BEFORE I COULD SEE OUT OF MY WINDOWS NOW I CAN SEE NOTHING AND THERE ARE PIPE SMOKE SMEARS, SHE SAID THE MAN MADE OFF IN AN OLD MOGGY MINOR WITH A LADDER ON TOP ALMOST FALLING OFF.......DEAR O DEAR
LATEST.............BAIL BANGER MAY BE IN STUDIO THIS SAT..
NEWS COMING IN THAT BASIL BANGER, BROTHER TO THAT OF ANDY AND BUNTY MAYBE MAKING A DEBUT APPEARANCE IN THE STUDIO THIS SAT ....WATCH FOR UPDATES
SPECIAL REPORT...................ANDYS MOGGY MINOR BLOWS OVER
STEVEN HALL TELLS US THAT ANDYS MOGGY MINOR BLEW OVER TODAY IN THE STRONG WINDS THAT SWEPT THE COUNTY. WE ALSO HEAR THAT ANDY PHONED BARNWELL AT WORK DEMANDING HE COME AND HELP HIM IN TEN MINUTES WE HEAR DARRELL PRESENTER OF THE SHOW PHONED ANDY AND TOLD HIM TO GET A BULLDOZER INSTEAD MUCH TO ANDYS DISGUST......THANKS FOR UPDATE STEVE
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
BREAKING........BUNTYS HORSE IN THE OLYMPICS?
We are hearing that condor had been put up a possible candidate to run in the summer OLYMPICS, BUNTY whos said to be excited at the possibility says she knows condor can well and win any show jumping event but he must have a break I'm any event she said to have a cigar to continue to perform well. Speaking of which we here BUNTYs new years resolution to make it 299 cigars a day instead of 300 has gone out the window instead she now smokes an extra one a day making it 301 a day instead dear o dear o dear
LATEST......ANDY CLAIMS BETTY NEARLY BLEW AWAY
Andy has said that with the recent high winds Betty got blown up the garden. He's told sat supreme that winds of up to 400mph were recorded in his back garden. He said I saw Betty take off when putting out the washing. Yes Andy was that before you had a glass of dandelion and burdock or after? Dear o dear
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