Monday, 31 December 2012
Sunday, 30 December 2012
Friday, 28 December 2012
MORE.................
THERES BEEN A FALLOUT BETWEEN ANDY & BUNTY. NOT A GOOD WAY TO END THE YEAR YOU MAY SAY. IT SEEMS THAT IT STARTED ON CHRISTMAS DAY WHEN SHE AND HER BOYS (THE HORSES) FELL SICK AFTER EATING A TURKEY WHICH WAS IN THE REFRIGERATOR FOR 2 WEEKS...BUNTY SAYS THAT BETTY & ANDY SHOUD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.....ANDY SAYS IT WAS A TASTY TURKEY AND HIM AND BETTY HAVE HAD TURKEY EVERY DAY AS IT WAS SO BIG. THEY HAVE HAD TURKEY FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER AND SUPPER AND WE ARE FINE HE SAID........ITS BUNTY SHES TOO SENSITIVE...........DEAR O DEAR
MORE......................
ANDY HAS MADE A LIST OF HIS NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS THEY ARE..... 1) MAKE MORE SAUSAGES 2)TO IMPROVE HIS MOGGY MINOR????? 3)TO BE NICER TO ALL PEOPLE, INCLUDING BUNTY THESE ARE JUST A FEW VERY WORRYING PROMISES....DEAR O DEAR
Thursday, 20 December 2012
BREAKING............BUNTY SAYS HER BOYS HAVE BEEN BRUSHING THEIR TEETH FOR CHRISTMAS??????
WHAT A LOVELY SMILE CONDOR AND YES ALL WHITE AND SPARKLING CLEAN TEETH!!!! 
UPDATE....................
YES 00 BANGER WOULD YOU BELIEVE ANDY SAYS HES BEEN APPROACHED TO BE THE NEXT JAMES BAOND AND WANT HIM TO HAVE THE NAME 00 BANGER......YES WELL YOUR MISSION ANDY IS GETA LIFE
MORE...................
THE BANGERS JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS ARE GETTING READY TO CELEBRATE TOMORROWS SOLSTICE AT DAWN. WE HEAR THAT BETTY, BUNTY AND ANDY ARE CAMPINT OUT TONIGHT IN ANDYS FILED AROUND AN ERECTED FAKE STONE HENGE, READY TO CHANT AT SUNRISE ANDY SAID WE MUST BE THANKFUL FOR THE SEASON AND SAUSAGES...............DEAR O DEAR BELOW THE BANGERS STONEHENGE.............. 
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
MORE....................
WE ALSO HERE HE HAS ASKED SJH FROM THE SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW TO BE AN ELF FOR HIM AS ONE OF HIS HELPERS AS HE GOES AROUND DELIVERING PRESENTS ON XMAS EVE............DEAR O DEAR 
Monday, 17 December 2012
Sunday, 16 December 2012
Friday, 14 December 2012
MORE..................
NOW WE ARE GETTING REPORTS BANGER HAS BEEN SELLING DANGEROOUS FAULTY XMAS DECORATIONS, ONE WOMAN SAIS I PUT MY TREE UP WITH THE DECORATIONS AND EVRYTHING BLEW UP , ANOTHER SAID JUST AS I WAS PUTTING ON THE LIGHTS FOR THE KIDS, BANG, EVERYTHING BLEW WE HAVE NO ELECTRICITY, OUR XMAS IS RUINED HOW CAN I TELL THE KIDS.............[PLEASE DO NOT BUY THESE BANGER DECORATIONS NO MATTER HOW CHEAP)
UPDATE.......................
DO NOT BUY BANGERS XMAS TREES LISTENERS AS WE ARE ALREADY GETTING COMPLAINTS. WE HEAR THEY HAVE COLLAPSED WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN ERECTED AND ONE EVEN HAD A VERY NASTY SMELL ABOUT IT . WE DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE HES SELLING WE WILL BRING YOU UPDATES.............
Thursday, 13 December 2012
MORE........
WE HEAR ANDY IS INVITING BARNWELL DERECK & STEVEN FOR DINNER XMAS DAY. HE SAYS BETTY IS GOING TO A LOT OF TROUBLE WE WON'T EXCEPT ANY EXCUSES THIS YEAR. IF NEEDS BE WE WILL TAKE THEIR DINNERS TO THEIR STREET DOORS IF WE HAVE TO......OH DEAR
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
LATEST...........HAVE A PHOTO TAKEN THIS CHRISTMAS WITH BUNTYS SMILING HORSES BELOW.....................
UPDATE.....................
ANDY APPARANTLEY PUT UP HIS DECORATIONS TODAY AROUND HIS RESIDENCE BOTH INSIDE AND OUT AND WHEN HE SWITCHED THEM ON, THE FUSE BLEW AND AN EXPLOSION WAS HEARD. IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH WHEN HE WAS PUTTING UP HIS XMAS TREE OUTSIDE THE 12FT TREE COLLAPSED AND WENT THROUGH THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOURS ROOF, THE RESULT CAN BE SEEN BELOW.............DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE...............
YES THE VERULAM CHOIR WILL BE ACSENDING ON ST ALBANS AND RADIO VERULAM THIS WEEKEND WE ARE TOLD. WE HEAR THEY WILL BE COMING FROM ALL PARTS OF THE COUNTRY, PROBLEM IS THERE IS EXPECTED TO BE COUPLE OF THOUSAND SAYS ANDY COMING TO THE STUDIOS SO THAT COULD BE A PROBLEM?????
UPDATE.............
ANDY CLAIMS THAT HES GARDEN IS THE COLDEST PLACE IN THE COUNTRY WITH -30 HE SAYS RECORDED AND EVEN A FROZEN BETTY TO BOOT..........DEAR O DEAR
MORE..................
YES WITH CHRISTMAS APPROACHING ANDY HAS SET UP HIS OWN GROTTO OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE , HES INVITING ALL CHILDREN TO COME AND SEE HIM IN ANDYS GROTTO, TO SEE WHO HE CALLS THE REAL SANTA.....
Monday, 10 December 2012
UPDATE..........
FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS CARD THIS YEAR WHY NOT HAVE YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITH BUNTYS HORSES? YES IT'S YOUR CHANCE BUNTY SAYS TO A PHOTO TAKEN WITH A SMILING SMOKING HORSE....ALSO WE HEAR THAT HAMLET, CONDOR & MANIKIN ARE APPEARING IN A SPECIAL NATIVITY PLAY YET TO BE ANNOUNCED SAYS BUNTY.......
MORE..........
YES ANDY THE SNOWMAN WOULD YOU BELIEVE . HE TELLS US THAT HE HAS BEEN ASKED TO PLAY THE SNOWMAN IN A REVIVED VERSION OF WALUNG IN THE AIR. WE ALSO HEAR ANDY HAS MADE A REVIVED. SONG TO THE MOVIE ORIGINALLY DONE BY ALED JONES WE WILL PLAY THIS ON THIS WEEKS SHOW.......
Thursday, 6 December 2012
UPDATE............................YES ANDY IS FINALLY OFF HIS SICK BED AND WILL BE ON THIS WEEKS SHOW, HOWEVER WE HEAR HE IS STILL VERY PARANOID OF BECOMING INFECTED AGAIN FROM BARNWELL AND WILL BE COMING IN THIS WEEK INA QUARANTINE SUIT WOULD YOU BELIEVE WE HAVE ACPTURED HIM ON CAMERAIN IT TODAY AND WILL PUBLISH THIS LATER..............DEAR O DEAR
Friday, 30 November 2012
BREAKING.......................ANDY ENFORCES A BRANWELL FREE ZONE AROUND HIS RESIDENCE??????
WE ARE HEARING TONIGHT THAT UNBELIEVABLY ANDY HAS WHAT HE CALLS ENFORCED A BARNWELL FREE ZONE AROUND HIS HOUSE, BECAUSE HE CANNOT AFFORD HE SAID TO COME IN TO CONTACT WITH HIM TO GET ANOTHER VIRUS AND GET EVEN WORSE SO HE HAS IMPOSED A 5 MILE RADIUS BAN............BARNWELL HAS REACTED TONIGHT AND SAID ITS LAUGHABLE............DEAR O DEAR
Thursday, 29 November 2012
LATEST..........................ANDYS SELF GUIDE FOR MYSTERY VIRUS..............
ANDY OR SHOULD WE SAY DOCTOR ANDY WHO HIMSELF WE SHOULD SAY IS APPARANTLET SICK AT PRESENT WITH A MYSTERY VIRUS HAS ISSUED A SELF HELP GUISE BOOKLET TO BE PUBLISHED FOR POSSIBLE AT RISK PATIENTS TO COMBAT THE VIRUS SHOULD IT STRIKE................... 1) EAT AS MANY SAUSAGES AS POSSIBLE EVEN IF YOURE NOT HUNGRY DONT STOP 2) DOSE YOURSELF UP ON DANDELION & BURDOCK 3)IF FEELING VERY ILL CALL A BETTY. 
DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS WILL HELP ANDY????????
MORE........................
BUNTY IS THE LATEST VICTIM OF THE BUG SWEEPING THE BANGER HOUSEHOLD, APPARANTLEY SHE CLLAPSED WHILST SMOKING A CIGAR ANN GIVING ONE OF HER HORSES A GROOMING. A CONCERNED NEIGHBOUR CALLED A DOCTOR AND TOLD HER TO REST AND ABSOLUTELY NO CIGARS......WE HEAR SHES RESTING IN BED WITH ANOTHER CIGAR UNDER DOCTORS ORDERS..........
UPDATE....................
ONE MINUTE ANDY IS SAYING HE DOSENT WANT TO COME IN THIS WEEK ON THE SHOW, THE NEXT HE WANTS THE SHOW NOW TO BE BROADCAST LIVE FROM HIS BEDROON, BUT HES SAID KEEP THAT INFECTIOUS BARNWELL AWAY FROM ME HE CAN STAY AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM............WHAT IS HE LIKE????
LATEST...............................
WE HEAR ANDY IS TO MISS THIS WEEKS SHOW YET AGAIN, CLAIMIMG HES TOO ILL TO APPAR ON THE SHOW BLAMING BARNWELL FOR GETTING SICK, WE ALSO HEAR BUNTY IS KEEPING HER DISATNCE TOO.............
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
UPDATE.....................
WITH ANDY SUFFERING FROM WHAT HE CLAIMS A DEADLY VIRUS THANKS TO BARNWELL, WE HEAR HE RANG THE BRITISH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION TODAY SAYING HE WOULD BE PREPAERD TO OFFER HIS BODY FOR SERVICES FOR TRIALS PROVIDING THEY PAY HIM MILLIONS, IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHATS WRONG WITH HIM AS HE BELIEVES HE IS SUFFERING FROM THE WORLDS FIRST STRANGEST VIRUS THAT NO ONE HAS EVER HAD.......THE BRITISH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION SPOKESMAN SAID NO THANKS UITE UICKLY AND SAID GET WELL SOON...............
MORE...................
BARNWELL RECIEVED AN UNPEASANT SURPRISE PHONE CALL TODAY FROM A SO CALLED SICK ANDY BLAMING HIM FOR THE VIRUS, AND DEMANDING HE COME OUT ON DOCTOR CALL TO SEE HIM AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE EXAMINE HIM .......NEEDLESS TO SAY BARNWELL SLAMMED THE PHONE DOWN AS YET AGAIN HE WAS IN ANOTHER MEETING AT THE TIME............
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
MORE............................
BUNTY IS LOOKING FOR A NEW MANSION SHE SAYS IT MUST HAVE AN ADJACENT RACE COURSE OF COURSE AS WELL AS 4 BEDROOMS AND 4 BATHROOMS FOR HER AND HER HORSES. SHE ALSO INSIST IT MUST HAVE A SMOKING ARE FOR HER AND THE HORSES, AND EACH HORSE TO ALSO HAVE ITS OWN JACUZZI..............DEAR O DEAR
UPDATE.........................
YES ANDY WOULD YOU BELIEVE ONCE AGAIN IN A BID TO BEAT THE UK HEADLINES ON FLOODING HAS ISSUED A FLOOD WARNING FOR HIS BATHROOM FROM HIS SICK BED. HE SAID FLOODING IS LIKELY WHN BETTY HAS A BATH LATER AND COULD CAUSE A TIDAL WAVE, HE URGED PEOPLE TO LISTEN FOR UPDATES.............POOR BETTY
Monday, 26 November 2012
UPDATE.......,,
WE HEAR ANDY HAS REALLY BEEN LAYING IT ON THICK WHILST BEING SUPPOSEDLY POORLY IN BED OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT HE'S BEEN TELLING EVERYBODY. HE CLAIMS HE'S SO ILL THAT HE GOT BETTY TO CALL A DOCTOR OUT. FIRZT HE ASKED FOR DOCTOR STAINES AND THEN DOCTOR BARNWELL BETTY SAYS HE'S BEEN DELIRIOUS. STRANGE THOUGH HE SAYS THE DOCTOR HAS TOLD HIM TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF PUFFS HE TAKES ON HIS PIPE TO HELP HIM GET BETTER......DEAR O DEAR
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Friday, 16 November 2012
UPDATE......................
ANDY HAS BEEN CHUCKED OUT BY BETTY HE PHONED BARNWELL AND ASKED IF HE COULD COME AND STAY WITH HIM FOR THE NIGHT AFTER HES POODLE BIT BETTY. IT WAS BAD ENOUGH THAT HE ASKED BARNWELL TO COME AND STAY WITH HIM BUT HE ALSO HAD THE CHEEK TO ASK IF HIS DOG COULD STAY TOO....OBVIOUSLY HE WAS TURNED DOWN AND TONIGHT ITS NOT CLEAR WHERE ANDY IS STAYING...........
UPDATE.........
YES WE ANDY WOULD YOU BELIEVE IS GOING AROUND DRESSED AS PUDSEY BEAR UNBELIEVABLE AS IT SEEMS WE HEAR CHILDREN ARE CONFUSED SAYING IT'S PUDSEY WITH A PIPE. WE HEAR THERE IS SOME CONFUSION AS TO WHO IS THE REAL PUDSEY WELL THAT'S THE ONE WITHOUT THE PIPE.......
Thursday, 15 November 2012
UPDATE...............PC BANGER
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A KNOCK ON YOUR STREET DOOR FROM PC BANGER.. WELL WE HEAR HES NOW GOING AROUND ASKING PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR HIM SO HE CAN BECOME A POLICEMAN. ONE WOMAN REPLIED TO HIM TODAY WHEN HE ASKED HER TO VOTE SHE SAID..YOU SHOULD BE BEHIND BARS THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR BETTY..HE REPLIED IF YOUR NOT CAREFUL I WILL MAKE A CITIZENS ARREST.........NOW NOW NOW ANDY
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
MORE..................
MORE........................
ANDY HAS HIT BACK AT BUNTY THIS EVENING ACCUSING HER OF BEING JEALOUS OF HIS POODLE AND GOING THROUGH THE MENOPAUSE, AFTER SHE SLAMMED ANDY FOR LEAVING HIS DOG WENT WENT ON THE RAMPAGE BITING HER DAUGHER FELICITY AND SCARING THE THREE HORSES. ANDY REPEATEDLY SAID THAT HIS DOG BITES PEOPLE OUT OF AFFECTION?????..... BUNTY HAS NOW BANNED THE POODLE AND ANDY UNTIL HE GETS RID OF THE ANIMAL...........
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
MORE.......
BANGER WOULD YOU BELIEVE TO OVER RIDE THE HEADLINES AGAIN WITH CHILDREN IN NEED THIS WEEK IS LAUNCHING BANGER IN NEED PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY HE IS TELLING THE PUBLIC OF ST ALBANS. TIMES ARE HARD HE SAYS LOOK AFTER YOUR BANGER AND GIVE WHAT YOU CAN......DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 12 November 2012
MORE.........
STEVEN HALL FROM THE SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW & ANDY HOUR BROKE THIS NEWS TO US FIRST BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT BUNTY HAS DECIDED TO INVITE BARNWELL, DERECK ANS STEVE BUT NOT ANDY TO CHRISTMAS DINNER AT HER MANSION MUCH TO THE ANNOYANCE WE HEAR OF ANDY WHO WANTED TO INVITE THEM TO HUS FOR CHRISTMAS MEAL APPARANYKEY THEY HAVE BOTH FALLEN OUT......THANKS STEVE FOR REPORT
MORE........
ANDY HAS ARRIVED BACK IN THE UK WITH NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED. INSTEAD HE HAS HAD TO COME BACK EARLY AS HIS GAURDS DOG POODLE HAS BEEN CAUSING CHAOS BY GOING ON THE RAMPAGE AND BITING FELICITY TWICE. A VERY ANNOYED BUNTY HAS BLAMED ANDY FOR GOING OFF AND LEAVING HIS POODLE ON IT'S OWN . ANDY SAID BITING FELICITY WAS A SIGN OF IT'S AFFECTION........DEAR O DEAR
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Thursday, 8 November 2012
LATEST..........................
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT, ITS UNBELIEVABLE ENOUGH THAT BANGER IS HEADING TO THE US TO SORT OUT WHAT HE CALLS THE ELECTION FIASCO AND THINKS THAT HE CAN GET A RECALL, BUT IN MID AIR HE STUPIDLY CALLS BUNTY TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS ON THE GROUND BACK HOME, AND HE CAUSED A NEAR MISS WITH AN ONCOMING BOEING 747. THE PILOT COULD NOT BELIEVE IT WHEN THE NAVIGATION STARTED TAKING HIM TOWARDS THE ONCOMING PLANE.......ONCE TOLD ABOUT THE CHAOS ANDY SAID RELAX IT DIDNT HAPPEN ANYWAY HAVE A SAUSAG AND IF YOU CANT FLY THE PLANE ILL TAKE OVER ..............DEAR O DEAR O DEAR
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
UPDATE.............
BUNTY TO WRITE A NEW NOVEL ABOUT HER TRAVELS IN THE UK. APPARANTLET SHE SAYS SHE HAS TOURED FAR AND WIDE AND GIVE IN PARTICULAR WIDE KNOWLEDGE ON GOOD HORSING LAND .........CANT WAIT BUNTY
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Monday, 5 November 2012
MORE....................
WELL SO MUCH FOR THE MUCH TALKED ABOUT BANGERS BIG DISPLAY. WE HEAR THAT THE ONE ROCKET HE HAD WHEN LAUNCHED WENT THROUGH THE NEIGHBOURS KITCHEN AND THE SPARKLER DIDNT LIGHT AT ALL......ALSO BETTY THE GUY RAISED 52 PENCE AND WE HEAR THAT POOR BETTY OR MRS GUY FAWKES AS SHE WAS NICKNAMED CRUELLY BY ANDY WAS EXHAUSTED EVEN MORE SO BY PEOPLE THROWING EGGS AT HER.....TO TOP IT ALL A BONFIRE WAS LIT WHICH SPREAD AND SET FIRE TO NEXT DOORS FENCE AGAIN, 6 FIRE ENINES WWERE CALLED..........THE COUNCIL HAS LAUNCHED AN INQUIRY.......
AS PROMISED................PENNY FOR THE BETTY????
Friday, 2 November 2012
MORE......................
ANDY SAYS HES HAD CONFIRMATION FROM HIS ELECTION BANGER CAMP IN AMERICA (UNKNOWN) THAT HE IS CURRENTLY LEADING IN THE POLL STAKES AHEAD OF HIS OTHER CANDIDATES, AND HES TELLING PEOPLE IN AMERICA HE WILL SOON BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT.............
Thursday, 1 November 2012
MORE................
BETTY IS TO PLAY THE PART OF THE GUY, AT BANGERS FIREWORK DISPLAY ON MONDAY. WE HEAR SHE WILL STAND IN THE FIELD STUFFED WITH STRAW WHILST ANDY ASKS PEOPLE TO GIVE MONEY FOR HER.........DEAR O DEAR POOR BETTY
LATEST.................
THE MUCH TALKED ABOUT BANGER DISPLAY IS STILL TO GO AHEAD DESPITE COUNCIL OBJECTIONS.....SAT SUPREME TOLD YOU ABOUT THE GREAT BANGER DISPLAY IN EARLY OCTOBER, IT SEEMS THAT ANDY IS GOING TO GO AHEAD WITH THE EVENT DESPITE OBJECTIONS AND FEARS OF COMPLAINTS AS WELL AS SAFETY ISSUES.....APPARANTLEY INVITATIONS HAVE BEEN SENT TO THE SELECT FEW OR YOU CAN PAY UPFRONT OR ON THE GATE AT BANGERS FIELD ON NOV 5TH, ALTHOUGH HES TOLD US THAT MR STAINES FROM THE SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW HAS BEEN BANNED DUE TO INSUFFICENT FUNDS WHEN PAYMENT WAS TAKEN....WE ASKED WHERE IS THIS HUGE EVENT TAKING PLACE HE SAID HI FOLLOWERS WILL KNOW WHERE HE IS OTHERWISE ITS AT BANGERS FIELD, BANGERS LANE, BANGERS HATCH, HERTS?????? WHERES THAT ???.... WE SAY YOU SHOULDNT BOTH AS IT WILL ONLY BE A ONE SPARKLER DISPLAY... DEAR O DEAR 
UPDATE................
FAR QUAR THE SAT SUPREME PRODUCER HAS TOLD US THAT ESSENTIAL STUDIO MAINTENENCE WORK WILL HAVE TO TAKE PLCAE ON SAT. THE PRODUCTION STUDIO IS TO BE EXTENDED AND HE HAS WARNED IT COULD BE A SOMEWHAT NOISY SHOW..............
MORE.....................
AN UNKNOWN SOURCE HAS TOLD US THAT ANDY WAS APPROACHED BY PIERS MORGAN A YEAR AGO TO APPEAR ON HIS LIFE STORIES . WE UNDERSTAND THE SHOW WAS BEING FILMED WHEN PIERS MORGAN BROUGHT UP THE SUBJECT OF SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET WITH DOLLS WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER HE THEN STRORMED OFF AND THE SHOW WE UNDERSTAND WAS CANCELLED.........
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
BREAKING...............
TURNS OUT THE NOISES AND THE SLAMMING OF THE DOOR WAS BY ANDY WHO JUST TURNED UP WITH SOME TRICK AND TREATS.....WE WILL HAVE A RECORDNG OF WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS WEEKS SAT SUPREME ......................
LATEST.................JUST SENT TO US
BUNTYS HAUNTED MANSION NIGHT IS UNDERWAY.......................
WE ARE HEARING THAT A CROWD OF GUESTS ARE INSIDE BUNTYS MANSION BY CANDELIGHT AWAITING SPOOKY THINGS TO HAPPEN, BUNTY IS NATURALLY HOSTIN G THE EVENINGS EVENTS WE EVEN HEAR BANGER MAY TURN UP LATER..............
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
MORE.....................
ANDY NOW SAYS THAT HE IS LIKELY TO BE CHOSEN TO APPEAR IN THE NEW SERIES OF IM A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE SOON...HE SAYS THAT THE PRODUCERS HAVE APPROACHED HIM ALREADY AND OFFERED HIM A FORTUNE............YES ANDY, WELL YOUR NOT EXACTLY A CELEB ARE YOU??
MORE.......................
VERA WE HEAR HAS HAD SOME SLEEPLESS NIGHTS RECENTLY DUE TO LAVATORY NIGHTMARES..WE HEAR SHE HAS WOKEN UP SCREAMING DUE TO BEING SCARRED OF HER TRAUMA IN THE RADIO VERULAM LAVATORY..ONE CLOSE SOURCE SAYS SHE IS A BAG OF NERVES.........
Monday, 29 October 2012
MORE...........
ANDY CLAIMS THAT HE WAS THE VOICE BEHIND THE BOSS OF CHARLIES ANGELS , YES HE SAYS HE SAYS IT WAS HIM APPAEANTLEY. STRANGE REALLY AS IT DOSENT SOUND LIKE HIM BUT HE INSISTS HE'S VOICE ONLY BROKE A FEW YEARS BACK AS HE WAS A LATE DEVELOPER.....DEAR O DEAR
LATEST........
WITH HURRICANE SANDY HEADING FOR AMERICA, CAN YOU BELIEVE BANGER SAYS HE CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY HURRICANES ARE NOT NAMED AFTER HIM AND IS EVEN COMPLAINING TO THE NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTRE IN THE US. MEANWHILE HE SAYS TYPHOON BETTY IS HEADING FOR THE BATHROOM......DEAR O DEAR
Thursday, 25 October 2012
BREAKING.................ANDY STILL SCARING ST ALBANS PUBLIC...........
WE HEAR BANGER HAS BEEN ONCE AGAIN SCARING THE PUBLIC OF ST ALBANS...WE HEAR EVEN THOUGH ITS STILL A WEEK AWAY TO HALLOWEEN BANGER HAS BEEN CREEEPING UP ON ELDELRY CITIZENS SAYING TRICK OR TREAT, HOWEVER ONE LADY RETALIATED SAYING YOURE IN FOR A TRICK AND A TREAT AND HIT HIM WITH HER HAND BAG HE RAN OFF.........DEAR O DEAR
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
MORE.......
YES VERA & CHAS HAVE BEEN SEEN TOGETHER WE HAVE HAD WITNESS REPORTS OF VERA BEEN SEEN CRYING IN TO THE ARMS OF CHAS. APPARANTLEY THIS TOOK PLACE OUTSIDE A PUBLIC LAVATORY ONE PERSON TOLD US IT LOOKED LIKE SHE NEEDED TO GO IN TO THE TOILET BUT COULDN'T .....
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
UPDATE........BUNTYS HAUNTED RESIDENCE
BUNTY CLAIMS HER RESIDENCE IS HAUNTED. SHE CLAIMS TO HAVE HEARD SPOOKY NOISES AND SEEN FACES OF GHOSTLY GHOULS MAINLY WHEN ANDY HAS STAYED OVER. BUT EVEN LATELY SHE CLAIMS THAT THE HORSES HAVE ALSO BEEN GETTING SCARED BY VARIOUS PARANORMAL ACTIVITY........
MORE............
YES HALLOWWENS ALMOST HERE AND ALREADY BANGER IS OUR SCARING THE YOUNG AND OLD . WE HEAR THAT DRESSED IN A WARLOCK COSTUME WITH A WITCHES HAT AND WE HAVE PICTURES TO BE PUBLISHED LATER IN THE WEEK HE HAS BEEN TERROISING NEUGHBOURHOODS. POLICE HAVE RECIEVED SEVERAL COMPLAINTS OF HARRASEMENT AND ATTACKS.....ANDY OF COURSE DENIES THIS
Monday, 22 October 2012
MORE........
WITH ALL THE TALK OF THE WEATHER TURNING COLDER WITH AN ARCTIC BLAST LOOKING LIKELY SNDY SAYS WE SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT THE SO CALLED ANDY BLAST.....APPARANTLEY THIS IS TO DO WITH HALLOWEEN AS ONCE AGAIN HE BELIEVES HE IS THE WIZARD OF ST ALBANS WITH SOME SURPRISES IN STORE.......
Thursday, 18 October 2012
UPDATE......................
BUNTYS HAS SAID THAT SHES MAKING GOOD PROGRESS TRYING TO TRACK DOWN HER LONG LOST SISTER GRETTLE....GRETTLE WHO IS OLDER THAN HER AND ANDY DISSAPEARED SOME YEARS AGO AND LOST CONTACT WITH THE REST OF THE BANGERS BUT BUNTY HAS BEEN UP LATE AT NIGHT RECENTLY TRACING HER ON GENES REUNITED AND HAS TOLD US THAT SHE HAS ALMOST FOUND HER...........JUST DONT TELL ANDY BNUTY OR MENTION THE DOLLS
MORE......................
YES ON YOUR SHELVES IN THE SHOPS BY CHRISTMAS ANDY PLANS TO REALEASE AN ALBUM CALLED ANDY ANTHEMS A CELEBRATION OF LOVE & BETTY....A NUMBER OF CLASSIC BANGER SONGS WILL BE RELEASED ON THE LAVATORTY LABEL HE SAYS.....WE HAVE GOT HOLD OF ONE NOT YET RELEASED WE WILL HAVE A RECORDING ONLY ON SAT SUPREME THIS SAT AS AN EXCLUSIVE........
LATEST....................
BUNTY HAS COME UNDER FIRE FOR HER LATEST IDEA , A BUNTY BREATHATHON, WHERE PARTAKERS WOULD DO BREATHING EXERCISES TO RID THEMSELVES OF CIGAR SMOKE.....WE HEAR LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ADMITTED TO A&E DEPARTMENTS AROUND THE COUNTRY AFTER TRYING THE EXERCISES AND BECOMING OUT OF BREATH RANGING FROM THE VERY YOUNG????? TO THE VERY OLD.....
MORE...............
THE BANGERS BALL, ARE YOU INVITED???? ANDY SAYS HE WILL BE SENDING OUT INVITATIONS TO THE GRAND BANGERS BALL, BUT ONLY THE SELECTFEW WILL ATTEND AND MAYBE EVEN MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD THIS LAVISH OCCASSION, ALL IN AID OF BANGER TRING TO IMPRESS AGAIN, THE LENGTHS HE WILL GO TOO...........
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
MORE......
VERA SAYS SHE WILL BE MOST LIKELY REMAIN TRAUMATISED THANKS TO HER DISCOVERY IN THE RADIO VERULAM TOILET. SHE CANNOT EVEN GO IN TO A TOILET AT HOME AND BREAKS OUT IN HOT SWEATS AT THE THOUGHT OF IT........
MORE........
THE BUNTY BREATHATHON DESIGNED FOR THOSE WHO SMOKE CIGARS AND WANT TO EXHALE ALL THE SMOKE AND GET IT OFF THEIR CHEST SAYS BUNTY. SHE IS TRYING TO GET MORE TO FO THE SIMPLE EXERCISES INCLUDING THE HORSES OF COURSE.,,,,,
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
UPDATE.........
ANDY IN HIS BID TO BECOME THE NEXT AMERICAN PRESIDENT HAS LOST THE CHANCE THE TO TAKE PART IN THE LAST HEAD TO HEAD OF THE ELECTORAL DEBATE IN THE USA. WE UNDERSTAND ANDY RECIEVED A PHONE CALL FROM THE PRODUCER OF THE SHOW TO SAY HE WAS UNHEARD OF IN AMERICA AND DID NOT HAVE EVEN ONE VOTE TO PUT HIM ON SCREEN FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO JUDGE....WE HEAR ANDY IS DEMANDING A RE RUN OF THE DEBATE AND CALLED IT COWARDLY AS HE SAID THAT THEY KNEW HE WOULD WIN......DEAR O DEAR
MORE......,...
YES FANCY GIVING YOUR LOVED ONE A BUNCH OF FLOWERS THAT THEY WILL REMEMBER AND THANK YOU FOR? THEN DON'T BOTHER GIVING THEM A BANGERS BOUQUET. APPARENTLEY WE HEAR THEZE ARE FRESH FROM HIS FIELD AND ARE ALREADY ON SALE, BETTY DOES THE WRAPPING ANDY DOES THE PICKING.....DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 15 October 2012
UPDATE.........
THE BANGER BONANZA, YES WHERE YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING FOR ALL THE FAMILY. THE GREAT BANGER BONANZA TO BE HELD IN HIS FIELD ONE WEEKEND PROMISES TO HAVE SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE SO ANDY SAYS.......
Friday, 12 October 2012
Thursday, 11 October 2012
BREAKING.......................ANDY PREPARING TO WIN AMERICAN ELECTIONS.............
WE HEAR THAT ANDY SO CONFIDENT THAT HE WILL WIN THE ELECTION TO BECOME THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE USA SAYS THAT HE AND BETTY THE FIRST AMERICAN LADY MAY HAVE TO MOVE TO THE STATES....HE SAID WE CANNOT RUN THE COUNTRY FROM THE UK SO WILL AHVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING FOR COUNTRY AND PEOPLE..................DEAR O DEAR, YOU WONT HAVE TO BOTHER ANDY
ANDYS NEW ANTI BALDING TREATMENT GOES WRONG................
SAT SUPREME IS CONTINUING TO RECIEVE COMPLAINTS ABOUT BANGERS NEW ANTI BALDING TREATMENT, HE CLAIMS THAT SPREADING SAUSAGE CREAM ON THE SCALP WILL MAKE HAIR GROW BUT IT HAS HAD DISASTROU RESULTS THE LATEST CUSTOMER IS BELOW.....LOOK AT THE SIDE EFFECTS ITS HAD THIS MAN CANT EVEN SEE..................
UPDATE.............
ANDY IS TO ADDRESS THE PEOPLE OF AMERICA ON HIS BANGER INTERNATIONAL NETWORK TOMORROW, THAT IS REALLY GOING TO SPOIL THEIR DAY WE WILL HAVE A RECORDING OF THAT BROADCAST ON SATURDAY ON THE SHOW................
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
MORE.........
BUNTYS HORSES CAUSED CHAOS YESTERDAY ON THE HERTFORDSHIRE SECTION OF THE M25 AFTER THEY ESCAPED. MOTORISTS WERE SHOCKED TO WITNESS CONDOR, MANIKIN & HAMLET RUNNING TOGETHER SMOKJNG CIGARS APPARANTLEY MOTORISTS LOCKED THEIR WINDOWS AND DOORS WHEN THE HORSES WENT UP TO THE CARS SMILING. EVENTYALLY AFTER 3 HOURS THE HORSES WERE COAXED BACK TO THEIR STABLES BY BUNTY WHO APOLOGISED BUT SAID THEY NEEDED A RUN.......DEAR O DEAR
MORE...........
APPARANTLEY VERA WAS SEEN ENTERING THE BANGER RESIDENCE LAST NIGHT , WE UNDERSTAND THAT IT WAS TO MAKE A RECORDING OF THE JOHNNY BE ROTTEN SONG FOR SATURDAY. VERA DID NOT LEAVE UNTIL THE EARLY HOURS OF THIS MORNING DID IT REALLY TAKE THAT LONG TO DO VERA ???????
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
UPDATE.......................
THE LATEST VENTURE TO BE CREATED BY BANGER MAY HAVE BALDING PEOPLE EVERYWHERE JUMPING WITH EXCITEMENT, BUT BEFORE YOU DO WE WOULD STRONGLY RECCOMEND THAT YOU CONSIDER YOUR MOVES VERY CAREFULLY AS IT MAY NOT BE ALL IT SEEMS INFACT ALREADY WE ARE GETTING REPORTS OF THE ANTI BALDING TREATMENT GOING WRONG................ MORE AS WE GET IT
Monday, 8 October 2012
MORE...........
HUNGRY? WELL THERE'S ALWAYS BANGERS BEANS ALTHOUGH AFTER EATING SOME OF BANGEDS LATEST CREATION YOU MIGHT NOT BE HUNGRY ANYMORE. YES BANGERS BEANS ARE NOT YOUR AVERAGE BEAN THEY ARE GROWN IN HIS GARDEN AND DIPPED IN HIS OWN SPECIAL SAUCE HE TELL US......
Thursday, 4 October 2012
DEVELOPING......................ANDY TO RUN AS A PRESIDENT................
WOULD YOU BELEIVE THAT ANDY THINKS HE COULD NOT ONLY RUN TO BE THE NEXT AMERICAN PRESIDENT BUT HE THINKS HE WILL WIN....HE SAYS THAT HE AND BETTY ARE READY TO RUN THE USA WITH BETTY THE FIRST AMERICAN LADY, AND HE SAID THAT AMERICANS HAD HAD ENOUGH OF OLD POLICIES AND WERE LOOKING TO THE BANGERS TO TAKE AMERICA IN A NEW DIRECTION....WE ASKED ANDY WHAT HE PLANS TO DO NEXT THEN HE SAID...(HAVE A NICE DAY NOW)...DEAR O DEAR
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BANGERS ORIGINAL, NOW WHATS HE UP TO? WELL HE CLAIMS TO HAVE CREATED THE BANGERS ORIGINAL CRISP, THE INGREDIEND AS ALWAYS REMAIN A SECRET, BUT ANDY TELLS US THESE WILL TASTE LIKE YOUVE NEVER TASTED BEFORE...........WELL WE CAN BELIEVE THAT ANDY
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
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ANOTHER WORRY FOR ALL OF US, IT SEEMS THAT BANGER HAS CREATED A BODY WASH THAT WILL NO DOUBT CAUSE MORE CHAOS. IT LOOKS HARMLESS ENOUGH BUT WE ARE TOLD IT IS FAR FROM THAT, WE SHOULD ALL BE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT THERE COULD BE SOME LINGERING EFFECTS. SO BE WARNED YOUR NEXT WASH COULD BE ONE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET........
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VERA WHO MISSED THE SHOW SATURDAY SAYS SHE WAS UNDERGOING COUNSELLING DUE TO THE TRUAMATIC LAVATORY EXPERIENCE SHE HAD AT THE STATION A WEEK AGO. SHE SAYS SHE'S STILL IN SHOCK AND WAS NOT READY TO RETURN TO WORK YET.......
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
UPDATE.........
BUNTY SAYS SHE WOULD LIKE TO COME BACK IN ANOTHER LIFE AS A HORSE. BUNTY WHO GREW UP WITH HORSES INDEED SHE USED TO SLEEP WITH ONE BY HER BED, HER MOTHER OWNED A STABLES AND REGULARLY THE HORSES WOULD SIT ROUND THE FINNER TABLE WITH THE BANGER FAMILY FOR EVENING MEALS, ANDY HOWEVER WAS SLWAYS JEALOUS OF THE HORSES WE ARE TOLD AS HE WANTED THE ATTENTION ON HIM......DEAR O DEAR HE HASN'T CHANGED
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GRAB A BANGERS BARGAIN, COULD BE ANYTHING FROM AN OLD ANTIQUE TO AN OUT OF DATE SAUSAGE. WE HEAR BANGER FANCIES HIMSELF AS A BIT OF A DEL BOY, HE CLAIMS TO AIM TO SELL MORE THAN THE 99p STORE WITH PRICES MUCH CHEAPER BANGERS BARGAINS WILL SELL AT 98p PER ITEM WELL, WHAT A BARGAIN ......DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 1 October 2012
UPDATE.........
BANGERS BEER, A BEVERAGE OR POISON. WELL ONE THINGS FOR SURE THIS NEW IDEA TO MAKE AN ALCOHOLIC DRINK BY BANGER MUST SPELL DISASTER. APPARANTLEY HE IS BREWING IT IN HIS SHED AND WE DO NOT KNOW THE ACTUAL CONTENT BUT WE HEAR THAT IT'S VERY STRONG RUMOURS OF 100 PER CENT OR MORE......SURELY IT WILL BE BANNED?????
Thursday, 27 September 2012
BREAKING..................ANDY SAYS HES NOT SORRY..........
ANDY AS ALWAYS TO COMPETE WITH THE HEADLINES IS SAYING HES NOT SORRY FOR ANYTHING HES DONE.....WELL WHAT A SUPRISE THAT IS...
UPDATE.................BANGER GOES GLOBAL????
BANGER INTERACTIVE, SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING ABOVE BANGERS INTELLIGENCE BUT HE BELEVES HE CAN INTERACT WITH EVERYONE ACROSS THE GLOBE BUT BY WALKIE TALKIE...WE MUST KEEP IN TOUCH BY RADIO HE SAYS.......OVER,......IS THAT BIG TEN FOUR ANDY?????
UPDATE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
BANGERS BISCUITS THE NEW BISCUIT SELECTION TO HIT OUR SHELVES SOON, BANGERS CREAMS, BANGERS FINGERS, AND BANGERS SLICES ALL THES AND MORE SOON TO TEMPT YOUR TASTE BUDS CAN YOU WAIT, BEACUSE WE CAN............
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
UPDATE.........
BUNTYS BIRTHDAY BASH PLANNED FOR LATER THIS YEAR AT THE BUNTY RESIDENCE CIGARS SUPPLIED AS WELL AS CHAMPAGNE ALL HORSES TO BE INVITED ONLY THOUGH WITH NO MENTION OF ANY PEOPLE .... DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
UPDATE.........
THE LATEST FROM ANDY IS THAT HE WANTS TO START UP A COMPANY CALLED BANGERS BUSINESSES . WHEN WE ASKED HIM WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE ALL ABOUT HE SAID THAT'S MY BUSINESS AND NONE OF YOURS......DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 24 September 2012
UPDATE....................
ANDYS KILT TODAY BLEW OFF IN THE WIND WOULD YOU BELIEVE. AS ANDY SCURRIED THROUGH THE HIGH STREET IN GALE FORCE WINDS HIS KILT WE HEAR BECAME LOOSE AND BLEW OFF LEAVING A HIGHLY EMBARRASSED ANDY RUNNING FOR SHELTER...APPARANTLEY THE PUBLIC THAT WERE AROUND AT THE TIME WERE SHOCKED BUT LAUGHING TOO.....BUT ANDY WE HEAR WAS SHOUTING HOW VERY DARE YOU, EVENTUALLY ANDY REGAINED HIS KILT AFTER IT LANDED ON A RATHER MORE EMBARRASED ELDERLY LADY.............DEAR O DEAR WHY DOES HE STILL INSIST ON WEARING ONE ANYWAY????
Friday, 21 September 2012
BREAKING................BANGERS BEAUTICIANS LAUNCHES TODAY AND SAT SUPREME RECIEVES COMPLAINTS...............
ALREADY ANDY BANGER HAS RECIEVED COMPLAINTS FROM FURIOUS FIRST TIME CUSTOMERS WHO VISITED HIS BEUTY PARLOUR, DISATIFIED, MAMED AND EVEN INJURED AND DEINITELY WANTING THIER MONEY BACK......BELOW ARE PHOTOS CUSTOMERS HAVE SENT IN TO US....... LOOK AT THESE AFTER THE TREATMENT......... 
BREAKING....................FIRST COMPLAINTS ROLL IN WITH BANGER BEDS
WEVE HEARD THAT ONE PERSON HAS ALREADY COMPLAINED TO SAT SUPREME ABOUT BANGERS BEDS SHE SAID SHE BOUGHT A TRIAL ONE SOMETIME BACK AND HADNT BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP FOR WEEKS, THEY SHOUL BE CALLED SLEEP ROUGH NOT EASY, I WAS TOSSING AND TURN
ING EVERY NIGHT, AND THEN IT GOT SO BAD I HAD A BAD BACK, AND TO TOP IT ALL ONE NIGHT AS I TURNED OVER THE MTRESS COLLAPSED AND I ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR..........
UPDATE.....................
WHITE VAN MAN WICKY PHONED BARNWELL TODAY WE HEAR AND SAID HE WILL BE COMING IB TO THE SHOW ON SATURDAY TO SEE ANDY IN HIS KILT, HE SAID ITS A SIGHT I MUST SEE, AND WONDER WHAT HES GOT ON UNDER IT...........WE DONT WANT TO KNOW WICKY
UPDATE.........................
ANDYS LATEST VENTURE IS NOT GOOD NEWS FOR ANY OF US, ITS SELLING BEDS YES NONE OF US WILL EVER SLEEP AGAIN IF WE ONE OF THESE..THEY MAY LOOK HARMELESS ENOUGH IF A BIT OLD BUT BELIEVE YOU AND ME , THEY WILL NOT HELP YOU TO SLEEP EASY.....HES EVEN MADE A COMMERCIAL FOR THEM WE WILL HAVE A CLIP OF THIS TOMORROW..........
Thursday, 20 September 2012
BREAKING.....................BANGERS BUBBLE BATH GOES ON SALE & CAUSES SKIN RASHES...............
WE HEAR THAT BANGERS BUBBLE BATH WHICH IS ALREADY ON SALE HAS CAUSED A SURGE OF COMPLAINTS AND SKIN CONDITIONS FROM ITCHING TO RED BLOTCHES AND DISCLOURING..ONE LADY SAID SHE BOUGHT IT YESTERDAY AND HAD A BATH AND NOW CANT SIT STILL.............WE URGE LISTENERS NOT TO BUY THE PRODUCT AND WE ARE TRYING TO GET IT TAKEN OFF THE SHELVES.......
UPDATE.....................
NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD ASSOCIATE WITH THE BANGERS (BEAUTY THAT IS) BUT YES ANDYS NEW VENTURE IS TO OPEN UP A BEAUTICANS. NOW WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT BEAUTY...HE SAYS THAT PEOPLE WILL BE ENTITLED TO A FULL MAKEOVER AS WELL AS MANICURES INFACT WHATEVER YOU LIKE....APPARNTLEY THIS BEAUTY PAROUR OPENS TOMORROW...WE WILL HAVE UPDATES ON HOW IT GOES........
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
UPDATE........
YES BUNTY IS TO GIVE TUTORIALS AND COURSES ON MAKING YOUR OWN CIGARS . SHE SAID SHE IS AIMING AT ALL AGE GROUPS FROM THE YOUNGEST TO THE VERY OLD ...IM SURE THERE IS A LOT OF BUDDING CIGAR MAKERS AMONG YOU SHE SAYS.....DEAR O DEAR
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BANGER GLOBAL TOURS IS THE LATEST VENTURE BY ANDY, HE CLAIMS THAT TOURS WILL START AT £400 PER PERSON AND WILL BE UNFORGETABLE. WHEN WE ASKED WHERE THE TOURS WILL BE HE SAID THEY WILL START AT THE FIELD GATES WHERE HE LIVES AND THEN END AT THE FIELD GATES THE BIT IN BETWEEN IS UNCLEAR.......DEAR O DEAR
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
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BANGER BUBBLE BATH IS THE LATEST CREATION TO HIT OUR SHELVES. THE BUBBLE BATH HE IS WILL BE OF SAUSAGE AROMAS AND OTHER FRAGRANCES HE CLAIMS IT WILL BE REFRESHING AND REACH THE PARTS OTHER BUBBLE BATHS CAN'T REACH ....... DEAR O DEAR
Monday, 17 September 2012
BREAKNG........ANDY TO COME TO SHOW NEXT WEEK I'N A KILT?
STEVEN HALL FROM THE SOLID GOLD MUSIC SHOW & ANDY HOUR TELLS US THAT HIS MOLE HAS SAID THERE IS A RUMOUR THAT ANDY BANGER IS TO APPEAR ON THE SHOW THIS SAT IN A KILT. WE HOPE THIS IS NOT TRUE STEVE AS IT WOULD VERY DISTASTEFUL....ALSO WE HEAR BUNTY WILL ALSO BE PLAYING HER PART WEARING SOME SCOTTISH TOO.....THANKS STEVE FOR UPDATE
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